I listened to comrade Trump’s inaugural address and later downloaded the transcript. After reading it through a few times, it seemed to me that the man made a lot of yuge promises that were not only strange and hard to completely define but also seemingly counteractive to the plans of many of the people he wants to put into high-level positions.

As to the transition of power and how this time around it’s gonna be real special:

“Today’s ceremony, however, has very special meaning. Because today we are not merely transferring power from one administration to another, or from one party to another — but we are transferring power from Washington, D.C., and giving it back to you, the American people.”

How can he say that when he wants Betsy DeVos, someone who seeks to dismantle and privatize the country’s public school system, as education secretary? That comrade Trump is not a crusader for the people is a known fact to some, but for others, it’s going to take a while for that to sink in.

It’s all about you and your power. You’ve been held down for so long. Oh! The tyranny!

“What truly matters is not which party controls our government but whether our government is controlled by the people. Jan. 20, 2017, will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again. The forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer.”

Really? Of course it matters which party controls our government. It’s a lesson that will be used as a stick upside your head, starting immediately. And there are no forgotten people in America. Purposefully marginalized and disenfranchised, sure, but not forgotten.

“But for too many of our citizens, a different reality exists: Mothers and children trapped in poverty in our inner cities; rusted-out factories scattered like tombstones across the landscape of our nation; an education system flush with cash, but which leaves our young and beautiful students deprived of knowledge; and the crime and gangs and drugs that have stolen too many lives and robbed our country of so much unrealized potential.”

Wait, he wants to help these people? You’d better get out your crayon and write him a letter. But not to worry; “those” people won’t be moving into your trailer park.

This was some wacky bullshit:

“This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.”

No, it won’t. Gays, nonwhites, Muslims: all green-lit for maximum carnage. This is what you voted for and this is what you’ll get.

For a man who spent the last several months alienating over half of the electorate like no one who has hit the campaign trail, he’s feeling your pain. It was bullshit when Hillary Clinton said it and it’s even more so when it comes out of his mouth.

“We are one nation — and their pain is our pain. Their dreams are our dreams and their success will be our success. We share one heart, one home and one glorious destiny.”

One yuge, glorious destiny. That’s what everyone wants, right? What the fuck is he talking about? The above statement is as puke-inducing as his interior-decorating sense.

Here’s the new extremist summer-camp invite:

“We will reinforce old alliances and form new ones — and unite the civilized world against radical Islamic terrorism, which we will eradicate completely from the face of the Earth.”

More of your money going to Israel and an invite to your cuddly broski Vladimir to re-create the Soviet Union. Rock on, Rex Drillerson.

Open my heart to patriotism? Do I have to hug Ted Nugent?

This next part will be harder than your third time through eighth grade, but you can do it!

“When you open your heart to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice. The Bible tells us, ‘How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity.’ We must speak our minds openly, debate our disagreements honestly, but always pursue solidarity.”

Open my heart to patriotism? Do I have to hug Ted Nugent? No room for prejudice? Hold on a second! There’s always room for prejudice, just ask the millions who voted you into office. God’s people? Not me. I’ve seen Trump debate. Sad!

Worst inauguration speech ever. The creation of a nightmare scenario with phantom foes allows this dangerous administration to do anything it wants and call it an upgrade. It’s a false narrative that Trump and his gang established immediately. When Kellyanne Conway explained away Sean Spicer’s lying bullshit to Chuck Todd as “alternative facts,” she pulled the pin on the Orwellian disinformation grenade. As a fashion tip, I think she should wear that red, white and blue monstrosity (Trump Revolutionary Wear) to every television appearance from now on. Get more ready for Halloween!

I don’t have any butthurt nor do I need a tissue, bro. It’s hilarious that these people lie about the small stuff. It’s like learning to rob banks by stealing candy from a convenience store. People like Todd are going to have a field day with these phonies. And the comedians. And the hackers. And the rest of the world.

Listening to Sean Spicer take questions from members of the press was like watching a scene from an Animal Planet show where the lion is trying to eat the animal it just killed but the pesky hyenas keep nipping at the lion. The lion eventually leaves. Don’t leave us, Sean, the fun is just beginning!

Of course more women gathered to march than attended Trump’s inauguration. Are you surprised? Not me. They know full well what’s at stake. Do you?

Look for your weekly fix from the one and only Henry Rollins right here every Thursday, and come back tomorrow for the playlist for his Sunday KCRW broadcast.

More from the mind of Henry Rollins:
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No Matter Who Wins, America Is Only Going to Get Angrier

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