Ah, the joys of marketing junk food. Got some extra bits of dough at your mammoth fast food chain? Fry them up, dip them in frosting and hold a naming contest. Fiat revenue. On Monday Hardee's announced a new product, Biscuit Holes, and shortly thereafter a contest to name the cinnamon sugar-coated deep-fried circles of biscuit dough, which are sold with a plastic cup containing an icing dipping sauce. Apparently Biscuit Holes, which the company is calling a temporary name, is too obvious.

Hardee's executive vice president for marketing Brad Haley has said that some of the company's own suggestions for naming the balls could not be repeated. (Imagine a job where you got to sit around a boardroom desk and name a donut hole.) So now it's time to ask the public. If we're going to eat this stuff for breakfast, we should by all means have naming rights. Hardee's has a website, www.NameOurHoles.com, where you can submit your suggestions for the biscuit holes (coupons!). This can also be accomplished, naturally, via Twitter or Facebook or YouTube. Thus my 8 year-old can upload her video before we head to the drive-thru. A downright pastoral 21st century morning.

LA Weekly