Jerry Stahl

(Illustration by Mr. Fish)

Li'l Dickens

Jerry Stahl
{mosimage}I did not mean to sodomize Dick Cheney. I mean, I’m not even gay. Not that it matters. Because when, to my surprise, I bumped into him — literally — at the counter of Heimler’s Guns and Ammo in Casper, something clicked. And I’m not talking about the safety on......

Lists

Jerry Stahl
JERRY STAHL (author of, most recently, I, Fatty) John Albert’s Wrecking Crew: The Really Bad News Griffith Park Pirates (Scribner) is not the kind of substance-abuse saga that gets a kiss on the cheek from Oprah, or a genteel visit to KCRW. It is, instead, as raw, real, nasty and......
ILLUSTRATIONS BY RONALD KURNIAWAN

Free James Frey!

Jerry Stahl
pq2: Calling Million Little a memoir functions as a sort of semantic enhancement, padding Frey’s literary basket with violence and excess, the same way George Bush stuffed his flight-suit jock with what appeared to be either sweat socks or a mute Chihuahua. As anyone not in the grips of a......
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Dark Angel

Jerry Stahl
Photo by Gretchen Knotts Hubert Selby used to joke that, though The New York Times didn’t review his books, he was pretty fucking sure they’d run his obituary. He was right. Selby preferred to be called “Cubby” despite the decidedly un-baby-bear-like, gleefully sepulchral remnant of a body that he carried......

The Fatty Arbuckle Memorial Awards for 2003

Jerry Stahl
Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle was the first actor to make a million and the first to have his life and livelihood destroyed by a few bad moves. By contrast, the contempo fuckups described below may suffer little or no consequences for their own malfeasance. Who’s the last person you know who......
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Confessions of a Celebrity Dope Fiend

Jerry Stahl
Illustration by Jordin Isip So, you’re thinking of becoming a celebrity dope fiend. You’re thinking, “Hey, I’ve lived through some pretty intense stuff — my own little Vietnam! — so, doggone it, why can’t I cash in and write about my festive narcotic nightmare for fun and profit? God knows,......
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Daddy’s Girl

Jerry Stahl
Art by Geoff Grahn I was third in line the first time I ever actually "did it." This was 1970. I was 15. The girl involved was a plump, freckled nursing student named Sharon Schmidlap, a ponytailed barber’s daughter who lived with her parents three blocks from the small-town boarding......
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Going to Hell for Fun and Profit

Jerry Stahl
Art by Gary Tharler A writer’s injuries are his strengths. —Salman Rushdie   As you can imagine, being the author of the highly successful and not quite universally acclaimed memoir Pertinent Minkbite, I can’t walk into my local Mayfair without some earnest citizen tapping me on the shoulder, surreptitiously taking......
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Denizen of Iniquity

Jerry Stahl
Art by Calef Brown Three fun facts about the Marquis de Sade: He was 5 feet 2 inches tall, he suffered grievous hemorrhoids, and his fave pastime was inhaling prostitutes’ farts. Talk about the life of the party! Even more amazing is that, back in the nonstop festival of lust......
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Liver

Jerry Stahl
I live for liver. I have to, 'cause I don't have one. (Well, that's not true. I have one. But it lives in Miami and only writes when it needs money. More or less.) But I exaggerate. The thing, if you must know, is that I fucked up my big......