This week brought to you by Bacardi Superior — which, when mixed with Diet Coke, is only 66 calories per cocktail! — and bad ’80s rock.

FRIDAY, January 27

Desperate times — have you read the newspaper lately? — call for desperate measures, or at least a new extreme music, art and performance festival. How to Destroy the Universe, Part 5 is where all you outré-loving nihilists will want to be tonight. Einsturzende Neubauten (German for either Collapsing New Buildings, or I Found a New Button — I forget which) founder, and proof that arty men can be dreamy, Blixa Bargeld leads the charge, along with Savage Republic (where have they been for 16 years? And what did they do with all those oil drums?). Also, F-Space, the Living Jarboe, the Red Sparowes, the Centimeters, Sixteens, Waldteufel, plus “psychoacoustic” video works that should clear out the room. The Echo, 1822 Sunset Blvd., Echo Park; Fri., Jan. 27, 8:30 p.m.; $17, $15 in advance. (213) 413-8200. See Music Pick.

SATURDAY, January 28

The Getty Villa opens to the public today. Sorry, neither you nor I will be going, unless you arranged for free tickets back ?in November. How does your April look? Admission is free. ?For tickets, call the Getty, (310) 440-7300.

Like they don’t already have enough to lord over us: ?the sea breeze, housing none of us can ever afford, good ?public schools, Father’s Office and now this, the brand-spanking-new Santa Monica Main Library. There are weeks ?and weeks of special events to celebrate, including today’s Wave of Tales Storytelling Festival with Henry Winkler. ?Did we mention the new building is “green,” as in environ­mentally friendly, another thing that will make Santa Monicans act all Harry Shearer–like? Santa Monica ?Public Library, 601 Santa Monica Blvd.; Sat., Jan. 28,? 10:30 a.m.-5 p.m.; free. (310) 458-8600.

At last month’s preview of the new rock musical Rock of Ages, it was clear that Dan Finnerty and Kyle Gass will steal the show with their steaming-hot version of REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight This Feeling.” It also painfully reminded that Andy Prieboy’s brilliant rock-opera White Trash Wins Lotto has gone mysteriously AWOL. Where are you, Andy Prieboy? We need you now more than ever! Andy? A-a-a-n-ndy?! The Vanguard Theater, 6021 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Fri., 7 p.m.; Thurs. & Sat., 8 p.m.; Jan. 26-Feb. 18; $34.50-$45. (800) 595-4TIX.

SUNDAY, January 29

WordTheaterLA, the literary series that brings spoken word out of the bookstore and into venues that serve alcohol, presents Dinner With Melissa Pritchard and Her Stories. Reading will be Victor Williams, Caroline Rhea, Marin Hinkle and Pritchard herself. M Bar, 1253 N. Vine St., Hollywood; Sun., Jan. 29, buffet dinner 6:30 p.m., performance 7:30 p.m., book signing 9:30 p.m.; $30, $35 at the door, includes dinner. (310) 398-9999.

MONDAY, January 30

Melding hard rock to classic opera is a just plain stinky idea. It should not work, yet it does, rather beautifully, with The East Village Opera Company. Maybe the reason is that while the musicianship is foot-stomping Ygnewtastic, the vocals are stellar. Yes, famous arias are performed by an 11-piece rock band, and it’s great — sexy even. Take that, Rock of Ages. The Knitting Factory, 7021 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Mon., Jan. 30, 7 p.m.; $15. (323) 463-0204.

TUESDAY, January 31

One of the funniest Canadians taking away work from our own local comics is Ian Bagg. The Ian Bagg Show brings his polished, smart and funny act to a classy venue. Bagg describes the show thusly, “It is like I am having a party in my room and we are all getting to know each other, but we all have pants on.” And there’s no cover as long as you don’t sit down! Comedy is funnier when you’re standing up, anyway. Friars Club, 9900 Little Santa Monica Blvd., Beverly Hills; Tues., Jan. 31, 8:30 p.m.; free, $20 min. food & beverage purchase at tables. (310) 553-0850.

WEDNESDAY, February 1

Don Felder and Friends Rock Cerritos for Katrina. Need we say more? How about Alice Cooper, Dennis Quaid, Stephen Stills, David Foster, D.L. Hughley, Tommy Shaw (he of the tight satin pants of my youth, and Styx), Jack Blades (yes, Night Ranger), Gilby Clarke (Guns N’ Roses, maybe he knows what the heck’s up with Axl), Adrian Young (No Doubt), Tre Cool (Green Day) and host Cheech Marin. I guess rocking Cerritos isn’t that difficult, but the excellent cause and the chance of seeing the singers of “Sister Christian” and “School’s Out” on the same stage could make for a classic rockin’ good time. Cerritos Center for the Performing Arts, 12700 Center Court Dr., Cerritos; Wed., Feb. 1, 8 p.m.; $50-$200. (800) 300-4345.

THURSDAY, February 2

We close out the week with Fiesta de la Candelaria, which has some religious ceremony behind it, but is also a great opportunity to dress up a doll in the most ostentatious, over-done outfit you can possibly manage and bring her — or him — to be blessed. Now get to work! Prizes awarded. Send photos! El Pueblo Historical Monument, 125 Paseo de la Plaza, Olvera Street; Thurs., Feb. 2, 6:30-8:30 p.m.; free. (213) 625-7074 or 465-8372.?

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