In this great land of ours we celebrate Black History Month (February), LGBT History Month (October), even National Tibetan American Heritage Month (May). But there's only one month that truly celebrates you: Masturbation Month.

That's right folks, at the stroke of midnight Friday Masturbation Month will come roaring into your bedroom, and we expect you to give it a hand. Esteemed LA Weekly associate Susan Block has got this thing by its little throat and, if you should find the need for company while you ponder the history and significance of this fine occasion, she's got a private party on Saturday in L.A. that will knock your socks off (you might need them).

The party at Block's lair will have a woman named Mae Victoria ride the “Monkey Rocker,” whatever that is. Info (probably NSFW, or at least not a good idea for work). We're pretty sure, however, that it won't be the only monkey rocked.

Now, if you're not sure what to expect with a Doctor Block event, check out our photos from her “Orgy for Obama” last year (also neither safe nor sane for workplace viewing).

So make sure your batteries are charged and ring in May with a (one-person) bang.

(If you think this post is in poor taste, keep in mind that in the future “Baitin” will be top-rated television).

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