“Someone's sneakiness is only fun when the joke isn't on me,” reads self-proclaimed “spam king” Sanford Wallace's Google+ status from July 29. Ironic, right? Considering Wallace turned himself into the FBI a week later (today) after being indicted for sending 27 million fake messages through about 500,000 Facebook accounts “in three separate binges” between 2008 and 2009.

But other than that, judging by a quick stalk of the 43-year-old Vegas resident's very jovial, very public Google+ account, he seems like a pretty nice guy.

Plus, uh — we're not even mad. Twenty-seven million messages? That's amazing! (OK, kind of mad about the Lady Gaga workout video one. If that was you, man — F you.)

Though he politely declined an LA Weekly interview based on (very legitimate) legal concerns — saying, “I can't comment on media inquiries at this exact time but I am working with my attorney to release a general statement. I will contact you if/when that become available. Thank you for your interest.” — his Google+ account is a treasure trove of intimate details about the legendary B-list hacker.

Things we learned:

"she's nice."; Credit: Sanford Wallace via Google+

“she's nice.”; Credit: Sanford Wallace via Google+

1) He has a super hot girlfriend. (See left.) At least we think she's his girlfriend. If not, he has a super hot girl who dances around in his kitchen a lot.

2) Unlike most Vegas residents, who spend their time grumbling about the big touristy bachelorette party that is their local going-out scene, Wallace embraces tacky Strip nightlife with a big good-natured bear hug. We kind of want to hang out with him! (See: “nickle fucking beer night <3” and “Wednesdays have arrived at Crown.” Related: “OMG I love nickle fucking beer night!” and “Crown always wins!“) Annnd then we remember the Lady Gaga workout video.

3) He also has a Twitter, with which he kindly RTs all his friends and promotes himself as DJ MasterWeb, the nerdily (but so appropriately!) named jockey who plays Wednesday nights at Rio.

Spammers, they're just like us! Except with fascinating Wikipedia entries including stuff like “Wallace initially started sending junk faxes before moving on to spyware and email spam” and “In the late 1990s, his company, Cyber Promotions, aka Cyberpromo, was widely blacklisted as a source of unsolicited email. Wallace's high-profile pro-spam stance and unrepentant persistence earned him the derisive nickname 'Spamford'.”

Talk about OG. Fax spams? Wallace was spamming before ham could get in a can.

From today's San Jose Mercury-News, a scenario we know all too well, but from the shit end:

[Wallace] got past the site's spam filters and infiltrated real accounts, logging on as strangers and posting the spam messages to their friends' walls. That way, people would log onto Facebook and think their friends sent them a link to a website.

Although such messages often look fishy, some users would invariably click on the link — such as “gayestprofile.com” — and enter their name and password on the ensuing site. Wallace would log in as a new user and send out more spam, and he would get paid each time he drove traffic to the spam site.

All right, Wallace, we're done. We hope you feel super violated by Internet creepiness, and take this as a lesson to never spam us again. Also, a possible sentence of “40 years in prison and more than $2 million in fines” for “six counts of electronic mail fraud, three counts of intentional damage to a protected computer and two counts of criminal contempt” might help.


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