Updated with a few more stops from around the county.

OK, technically you shouldn't be driving drunk anywhere (bad!), as we learned for the umpteenth time from a Long Beach fire captain who nearly killed a cyclist in Seal Beach last week, but you'd be especially retarded to booze-cruise any of the three LAPD and sheriff's checkpoints (after the jump) this Friday and Saturday.

You might also take care to avoid the 'points if you're one of L.A.'s many fine undocumented immigrants. Because for every DUI arrest last year, there were six cars impounded. Ouch. (And if you're an undocumented immigrant who's also been drinking — well, you're fucked. Deservedly so.)

Here's where not to be, and when:

LAPD checkpoint, Friday night from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m.: La Brea Avenue between Coliseum Street and Rodeo Road, right out front CJ's Cafe in Baldwin Hills.

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LAPD checkpoint, Saturday night from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m.

: Topanga Canyon Boulevard between Devonshire Street and Chatsworth Street, up by the 118 in the Valley.

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L.A. County Sheriff's Department checkpoint, Friday night from 6 p.m. to 2 a.m.: some mysterious location in the City of Santa Clarita.

Yeah, sorry, the sheriff takes the more intimidating approach of letting you know he's out there while not telling you exactly where. It's pretty creepy, actually. Probably works.

“To be quite frank with you, we don't want the exact location because all the drunk people tend to call each other and let each other know,” says Detective Daniel Dail with Traffic Services.

He will say that the department picks its checkpoint intersections based on “high frequency of DUI-related collisions.”

So do like Rebecca Black and choose the back seat if you've had anything “fun” to drink this Friday night. Because partyin', partyin' sort of loses its charm in the face of thousands in legal fees, vehicular manslaughter charges, etc. All bad.

Update: The Daily Breeze notes three more checkpoints in South Bay cities:

Gardena: Police will conduct a sobriety and driver's license checkpoint from 7:30 tonight to 2:30 a.m. Saturday on Rosecrans Avenue at Denker Avenue.

Carson: Deputies will conduct a sobriety and driver's license checkpoint tonight at a location to be determined.

Inglewood: Police will conduct a sobriety and driver's license checkpoint from 7 p.m. Saturday to 3 a.m. Sunday in the eastbound lanes of Manchester Boulevard at Kareem Court.


LA Weekly