Meet the Armchair. We tried it.
TJ: Yeah, it was pretty fun.
Tatiana: What do you mean? We didn't even do it really. We tried, but…
TJ: No, it was good…once we got into it.
Tatiana: That wasn't even the right position. The armchair was bullshit.
TJ: What the hell were we doing?
Tatiana: Resorting to something that felt good?
Toby: Oh. Yeah. But we'd try the armchair for a good 5-10 seconds. In the article, it says this position requires a lot of strength from the 'receiver.'
Tatiana: Which one's the receiver?
TJ: I think you were the one receiving. I guess it depends on what was being received. Maybe do some P90X in preparation.
Tatiana: I'm doing TurboJam! Same company.
TJ: Either way, this position made my pee-pee soft. Basically.
Tatiana: I think it's hot when you use the term pee-pee. Say it again.
TJ: Pee-pee. Soft pee-pee.
Tatiana: Hot.
TJ: Maybe we were just lazy. I dunno. We would try it for a few seconds, then slip into something else.
Tatiana: Because it was a stupid, pointless position. The only way it worked for us is if I took my legs off his shoulders, or Toby would lay all the way back…and then still it was a pain. The only good thing about this is that Toby could roll forward and we'd already be in a position that was actually workable.
TJ: True. When it was going horribly wrong, I could easily roll into the default legs-over-head position. Hey, that would turn it into a rocking chair! Get it? Get it?
Tatiana: I don't get it?
TJ: Pee-pee. Soft.
Tatiana: You're turning me on. Let's go try it again.
TJ: Sold.
Tatiana: Every time we tried getting back into this position, we'd just sit there. There's no room for trusting, it's just like…grinding.
TJ: Maybe you have to have freakishly long arms?
Tatiana: I'll switch to P90X and we'll report back in a few months. But if you're a mere mortal, I can't see how to make this enjoyable without serious modification. If you want to bring your lovemaking to a screeching halt, try the Armchair.
Check out what Tatiana thought BEFORE she actually opened her…mind…and tried it. The ARMCHAIR.
Contact Tatiana at talktotatiana@gmail.com.
Tom Clare.
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