Zagat's new Los Angeles Dating (and Dumping) Guide is filled with the kind of statistics guaranteed to make us nod approvingly — or shake our heads in disbelief. According to the guide which, Zagat says, is “based on the collective experiences of over 13,000 local diners, bar hounds and date-goers,” we are open to interracial dating, but view courtship with Republicans as something to avoid, like out-of-season shell fish. A slight majority feels a restaurant is the ideal first-date arena and, in contrast to New Yorkers (who also got Zagated today, in a separate guide), Angelenos are notably reluctant to date a person already involved in another relationship or in a marriage. New Yorkers, however, while similarly open to interracial dating (but not with Republicans), are also down on Bridge and Tunnel love — a term that, to Angeleno ears, sounds like a particularly complicated sex act.

Like the pre-recession anachronisms discussed here last month involving the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic (“It's the Economy, Moron”),

the Zagat guide, with its bubbly references to such dating venues as

beaches, brunch spots and classy restaurants, seems to describe some

distant and unfamiliar city.

“Use this brand-new guide,” Zagat tell us, “to explore more than 250 of the hottest

restaurants and nightspots in L.A. — favorite dating destinations and

ideal break-up spots.”

In

other words, it's all about the restaurants and bars. Perhaps more

pertinent hotspots would be unemployment-office lines, county hospital

waiting rooms and — as we've seen today,

in the lines to get a free Denny's Grand Slam breakfast. Zagat's

biggest expression of hubris, however, may well be that it assumed, when it began

this project, that newspapers would still have book review sections when its guides appeared.

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.