The always interesting Hamilton Nolan over at Gawker decided to declare overused noun/adjective “Hipster” dead and challenged his commenters to come up with a new word to replace it.

These were Hamilton's instructions:

1. It must succeed in evoking a widely understood and recognized subculture. The same subculture now referred to as “hipster.”

2. It must be one word. Pithiness is key. The point is to be able to refer to hipsters without having to describe them, which is impossible.

3. “Hipster” is, in essence, a slur. It must have at least an underlying whiff of insult.

Here are our Top Ten picks from their massive comment thread (thanks to Professor Matt for the tip):

10. ShamWows

9. Pabstsmears or Pabstafarians (tie)

8. Dovtards

7. Pitchdorks

6. Neofops

5. JivestTurkey writes:

“I submit for your consideration “Laevsky.”

In Anton Chekhov's “The Duel,” Laevsky is a true hipster: consumed with a desire for authentic experience while avoiding all of its responsibility; embracing the idyllic mythos of small town life while fearing and loathing the reality of it; living in indolence off of the largess of his benefactors; inciting furious rage in intellectuals (Von Koren) with his perceived ability to morally destroy everything he touches.

Plus it's always fun to appropriate Cyrillic terms for English slang (see Burgess / “devotchka”)”

[Shut up, Grad School.]

4. Metatarians

3. Cheeseburghers

2. “Is there a way to make “Rich lazy asshole” one word?” (asks “dissentingopinion”)

and, the number one suggestion to replace overused “Hipster” is …

1. YOU!

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