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How horrifying can a hayride be? Beyond your wildest nightmares if it's the L.A. Haunted Hayride, a back o' the wagon trip to damnation brought to you by the L.A. Parks Foundation. The trauma begins with a tractor-drawn tour through a forest of death, populated by, among other twisted tenants, “200-year-old children.” The trauma continues with a Haunted Haymaze and a Haunted Carnival, finishing with an All Hallows' Eve sure to leave you scared stiff. Warning: “Do not smoke or light fire of any kind on the premises; no alcohol permitted; no metal objects; do not touch oak trees; do not touch or aggravate any wildlife; do not touch the actors; stay in the wagon at all times.” (Meet at the Old Zoo.)

Fri., Oct. 29; Sat., Oct. 30; Sun., Oct. 31, 2010

LA Weekly