Hollywood, we're disappointed.
Cocaine use in the workplace is down. Cocaine overdoses are down. And cocaine production in Colombia is way down.
Maybe Lindsay Lohan really is straightening up.
The White House this week hailed the data as if this was an election year:
There has been a 72 percent decrease in Colombian coke production since 2001 — from 700 metric tons to 195 last year.
Of course, it would appear that Peruvian (325 tons in 2010) and Bolvian marching powder (265 in 2011) have taken up some of the slack.
And for whatever reason — maybe it's the meth exports — people are still slaughtering each other in Mexico over the rights to transport these pharmaceuticals to El Norte.
But, hey, our noses are less hungry, seemingly. (Also note that the decline of crack cocaine might have something to do with it).
Still, Obama's Office of National Drug Control Policy is happier than [insert name of “hard-to-work-with” Hollywood celebrity here] in a bathroom stall at [insert name of West Hollywood / Hollywood / Sunset Strip hot spot here].
It notes that the purity of powder in the United States has dropped by 28 percent since 2006. (You're snorting Gold Bond Medicated Foot Powder? Why is this a good thing?).
Overdoses are down 41 percent since that time. And on-the-job positives for the old yay-yo have declined 63 percent.
So get back to work, Hollywood.