The only thing more hilarious than these chocolate weapons is the warning on the chocolate weapons website: “Due to excessive heat during the summer months, we regret that we will be unable to ship our chocolate products due to risk of melting (even with overnight shipping and ice packs).” How sad would you be if you ordered the Chocolate Peanut-Butter Filled 12 Gauge Shotgun Shells or MK2 Fragmentation Milk Chocolate Hand Grenades and wound up with a goopy non-lethal mess. “Please note,” they tell us, “Chocolate Grenades do NOT really explode.”

In the meantime, they suggest…soap weapons! Well, thank god. Because I did not know what I was gonna do if I couldn't buy a chocolate gat to bust a chocolate cap in someone's ass.

So, the backstory on the chocolate ammo, per the website, is this:

Granted, our caterers and brides probably wouldn't be thrilled about buying Chocolate Bullets, but as we started thinking about it we thought of more and more people who would buy the chocolate bullets and would get a kick out of them. I mean shoot…

Yes, shoot.

…we thought it was a good idea – why wouldn't others? We thought the Chocolate Ammo would be great stocking stuffers for outdoorsman, hunters, and people who love guns and love to shoot.

Yet another reason to love America.

LA Weekly