Insomniac's third annual electronic music festival Beyond Wonderland takes over San Bernardino this weekend. The event's website says it's sold out and will happen “rain or shine.”
What about snow?
Because according to the National Weather Service, Beyond Wonderland, set to host nearly 50 acts and around 45,000 fans still stumbling around not sober after HARD L.A., may be transformed into a winter wonderland. Remember, we're totally amazing at scientific predictions. So we crunched a few numbers and guess what? Those ridiculous furry boots girls wear to raves and shit may actually serve some sort of purpose this weekend.
Rain is expected this weekend in San Bernardino, which sits at about 1,125 feet elevation. And snow level is said to dip to 2,000 feet elevation Saturday night. We know it's a slim chance, but we like to entertain doomsday prophecies.
How would snow impact the fest? First of all, does anybody trust giddy 18-year-old girls driving in even the best of conditions? What if the snow melts and gets into the wiring and shocks headliner Armin van Buuren? He's used to places like Ibiza and shit.
Temps are said to drop into the low 40s, and this could pose other problems. The fest apparently allows no re-entry without buying a new ticket. So forget about running back to your car to warm up. Are there going to be heaters? Or will attendees just throw a bunch of glowsticks into a trashcan in hope they function as like, a bonfire?
The event website offers a warning for anyone who carries illegal drugs, threatening that those who do will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law — not surprising considering what happened last year. The site also advises staying hydrated. Cool. Everybody will just be drinking whiskey. Legal, and as a bonus, warming! Maybe some stray hippies will slip in and purify all the snow into drinking water.
Nonetheless, some good that may come out of a possibly snowy, likely rainy concert. You can bet that anything-other-than-sunny-and-80-degree weather will keep Paris Hilton away, as well as any other Hollywood fucktard.
The venue takes place on the NOS Events Center's cement parking lot, also very helpful. Because seriously, for all we know, the scene would have been another Woodstock 94'-esqe mudfest, as the slush would soak the dirt.
But still, euphoric EDM fans, take it easy. Floors are going to be slippery. And don't even try to mosh.