TV shows in which waiters and bartenders get publicly humiliated for the sake of our enjoyment are not exactly my favorite brand of entertainment. And so I haven't watched much of Bar Rescue, the Spike TV show now in its third season, which features “expert” Jon Taffer playing savior and humiliator-in-chief to failing bars around the country. But in the midst of the cocktail revolution, I was pretty shocked to come across this interview in the Hollywood Reporter in which Taffer reveals himself to represent everything that's odious about drinking culture in America, from bad taste to bad fads to out-and-out pretentiousness via incredibly expensive drinks.

See also: Q & A with Bar Rescue's Jon Taffer: “Everything is to Make Money”

From this one Q&A, we learn the following about Taffer:

He's really into disgusting vodkas: “there's a line of flavored vodkas called Smirnoff Confectionary Brands with ice cake, fluffed marshmallow, root beer float. It's a blast because you mix all these flavors, you're like a mad scientist mixing whipped cream and root beer and iced cake with chocolate liqueur and raspberry.”

He hates gin.

His favorite bar is this pretentious place in Beverly Hills called Ten Pound where the drinks cost from $65,000 “all the way down to $160.”

He's perpetuating the bacon craze, advocating for bar snacks such as “warm bacon to dip in Crown Royal maple sauce.”

His favorite drink is scotch with amaretto in it.

He recommends a drink called the Green Lizard, which is a shot of 151-proof rum and green chartreuse, because it makes you horny.

This is what he thinks about tequila: “For me, the shot of choice is tequila. I don't sip tequila … Tequila isn't about drinking; it's about shooting.”

His death row drink? “My last drink would be a Chambord, a blackberry liqueur, on the rocks or on top of a little ice cream, milk and soda water.”

He actually said this: “I'm the kind of guy that I don't love the taste of liquor, so I'm gonna go out and take [do??] a bunch of shots.”

Ladies and gentlemen, the man responsible for “rescuing” the bars of America is the living embodiment of everything wrong with American drinking. Hooray.

See also: Jon Taffer's Bar Rescue Returns to L.A.

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