So, if you're between 24 and 34, the people who are trying to sell you stuff you don't need in order to get the money you don't have have just decided to start calling you a member of Generation Mix.

What defines Generation Mix? Well, VH1 apparently got tired of making bad reality shows with attention whores (and outright, actual whores) and it decided to commission a study of their target audience. They will be luring you in again with music-related content (Coming Soon: the return of Behind the Music, with Christina Aguilera), but once you're in they will be trying to sell you crap by using this information they gathered from their little survey.

Bottom line: they'll be treating you like gullible, crap-obsessed morons. “Generation Mix,” consider yourselves warned.

Here are the results of the survey, with a BS-free translation courtesy of WCS. From FashionablyMarketing.Me (no, really, that's what they are called):

Who Are Gen Mix Consumers?

Young adults consist of two major generational groups – Millennials and Gen X. Millennials are confidently anticipating the future while Gen Xers are becoming more settled and comfortable. The study identified Gen Mix (Adults 25-34) as individuals who are straddling between both generations.

Gen Mixers are entering an exciting life stage filled with milestones including marriage, careers, kids, and new homes, which make them a purchase intensive consumer group.

TRANSLATION: The made-up marketing terms we made up years ago to sell you crap are not working. Here's a new made-up marketing term.

Gen Mix Consumer Shopping Habits

* Gen Mixers love the designer collaborations with Target and H&M. They want the designer name, just not the price point. Jimmy Choo, Alice + Olivia, Alexander McQueen and Sonia Rykiel top consumer lists.

* Gen Mixers will never buy collaboration designers at full price. A woman who bought Alice + Olivia for Payless will not pay full price for an Alice + Olivia dress at Nordstrom; she will buy it at 50% off at T.J. Maxx.

TRANSLATION: These Gen Mixers are cheap fucks. Make the stuff in China in bulk and stick some label on it, preferably by reclusive goth sisters or other weirdos.

* Gen Mixers are concerned about the recession but they're secretly hungry to shop, and deep sales and discounts validate shopping.

* Gen Mixers only change their consumer patterns if they lose their jobs. They'll continue to spend, but now they'll go into department stores such as Macy's and bargain with sales people.

TRANSLATION: Gen Mixers are crazy! Also thoroughly irresponsible and reality-denying. Surprisingly, unemployment turns them into shifty barterers who treat even the most traditional department stores like a North African bazaar.

Gen Mix Designer & Price Point Preferences

* Personal identity is important to Gen Mixers. While they say that brands and labels aren't important, but when you check their closets, they do care. Though Gen Mixers don't feel the brands they buy are a direct reflection of their identity, the study shows that the brands they buy embody their identities.

* Gen Mixers are emotional shoppers. Emotions that drive sales are experience, aspiration, empowerment, connection and affirmation.

* Aspiration is fueled by the lifestyle the buyer wants to live and leads to validation of accomplishments. Connection is driven by their need to be digitally connected; it was in this need that made iPhone sales so successful.

TRANSLATION: Gen Mixers are insecure morons. Market accordingly.

* 64% don't think twice on spending on things under $5.00.

TRANSLATION: Again, they are cheap.

Gen Mixers, Social Networks & Digital Media

* 77% of Gen Mixers are on MySpace, Facebook & Twitter. They love to post, share and discuss; they also love recommendations.

* 30% of Gen Mixers read blogs and news online. Only 21% use newspapers anymore.

* Online, Gen Mixers LOVE Perez Hilton and US Weekly Magazine.

* The #1 demographic that Gen Mixers follow on Twitter, MySpace and Facebook are celebrities and tabloids.

TRANSLATION: No translation necessary, though that Perez Hilton thing is profoundly disturbing. Also, the 21% who use newspapers may not be “reading” them, if you catch our drift.

Gen Mixers, Celebrity Influence & Television Advertising

* 30% of Gen Mixers would rather have no furniture than have no TV!

* 49% of Gen Mixers use TV to disconnect. They will connect with TV ads that engage them and are interesting, meaning that they like ads that offer entertainment.

* Gen Mixers love televisions ads with celebrities doing interesting, entertaining things. Successful campaigns include Dr. Dre with Dr. Pepper and Carmen Electra with MAC Cosmetics.

* Gen Mixers love “Celebing”. If their favorite celebrity makes a brand endorsement in an authentic way, they view it as a friend recommendation.

* Gen Mixers love to hear about celebrity mistakes because it helps validate their own mistakes, causing them to feel better about themselves. This is why reality, celebrity TV is still so popular among Gen Mixers.

TRANSLATION: Should we stop now? Hello? Step off that ledge!

Welcome to the future, Gen Mixers.

LA Weekly