It's one of those things that, should I fail to share it with the world, will leave me lying sleepless and alone, clawing at the walls with guilt. For this historic and artistic find, which was first alerted to us by our main ho over at Gawker , will surely make you the star at your next dinner party, or possibly even grant you some kind of academic achievement award should you choose it as the focus of your final dissertation.

An ancient Japanese scroll was discovered at Waseda University Library's online database depicting what can simply be described as a bunch of warriors farting on each other. And on buildings. Even on what looks like a cat.

Called He-Gassen, or “Farting Competition,” the acts shown in this large scroll are not meant to be erotic or sensually appealing in any way — though with popularity of acts including Ass Smoothies and Cake Farts growing, there's a good chance SOMEBODY perusing the Internet will get a boner from reading this post.

According to the researcher who initially found the scroll, these images were meant to ridicule westerners. (Apparently the people shown being blown away by the gaseous emissions are meant to represent these foes.)

That's certainly one way to make someone leave the room.

If you'd like to check out the full scroll, visit the Waseda Library's database. But for you lazy asses, here are some excerpts we've extrapolated for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

LA Weekly