Watching the Olympics of award shows while making snarky comments about George Clooney's newest girlfriend (this year's Oscar date is next year's reality TV star) is more fun when you're in a room full of other smack-talkers. For the second year, NCIS actress Pauley Perrette hosts AIDS Project Los Angeles' 11th annual Oscar-viewing party, The Envelope Please, and though the $500 ticket price is pretty steep, $450 of it is tax-deductible, and last year's event raised more than $1 million for HIV/AIDS programs. For that price, you get an open bar, Champagne, dinner, gifts and free parking; plus, a red carpet for all the invited low-level celebs (past attendees have included Oscar winner Marlee Matlin, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Lance Bass and Tila Tequila). No, they're not exactly Tom and Katie, but dancing to Cruise's son DJ Connor Cruise, who'll be spinning during the after-party, is as close as you'll get. The Abbey, 692 N. Robertson Blvd., W. Hlywd.; 4-9 p.m.; $500 (resv. required). (213) 201-1600,

Sun., Feb. 26, 4 p.m., 2012

LA Weekly