Hmmm…Hmmm…I am trying to think of something nice to say, so I don't get death threats this season. But I could sum up this collection by saying I feel like I looked at most of these dresses when I was in high school searching for one to wear to the prom. Remember Zum Zum? I pretty sure I wore one of these exact dresses to my sweet sixteen. Which, if that's what he intended, isn't that bad. I'm sure there's a market for rich Palisades girls going to prom.

And there were a bunch of gaudy white eyelet gowns. I had no idea eyelet could be so tacky. It was like Quinceanera gowns designed by Bobby Trendy.

But I don't know the whole show confused me. Most shows had great music, really more and more the best part of these fashion shows is the soundtrack. But at Alan Del Rosario my ears were punished with a musak version of Boderline, then the sound of motorcycles revving ripped through the room, there were no bikes, instead beefcake dudes appeared and trudged shirtless down the runway, leaving black streaks on the snow white catwalk. They had (presumably fake) tatooes that read “I heart Alan Del Rosario.” And I bet he loves you all boys. They creeped me out, but one chick kept whistling and cat calling, yelling their names, “you go Johnny.” I thought she was drunk. It was none other than Janice Dickenson, former 70s model, current Model Agency Madam and reality TV star.

There were so many fishtails, the same dress basically with little variations. The crowd seemed to love it, then again like Ms. Dickenson I think they were all drunk. I did like his lacey tops paired with colorful poofy skirts. And my jury is still out on the tuxedo details on some of the gowns.

He had these gowns but…made…out of… linen? The fabric wasn't flashy enough for evening, but the style was way too much for day time. I was so confused and spent the next hour trying to come up with some place one could actually wear them to. I finally came up with it, a Great Gatsby style lawn party at a mansion in the afternoon in the Spring. Should you get invited to one of those, head straight for Alan Del Rosario.

Posted by Linda Immediato

LA Weekly