Is it really hard out here for a pimp? According to the handwritten business plan of an allegedly real California pimp obtained by Youth Radio and published this week, yes.

The two-page note from the suspected pimp, says Alameda County District Attorney Sharmin Bock, shows that contemporary sex traffickers “do want to be doing the big ticket sales of children all over the country. And sadly today there is no better bang for your buck, no better investment on your money, no better return, than selling a child for sex.”

According to the plan, this suspect wants to:

-Get “more serious about my money and future.”

-Take care of “my bitches more better.”

-Find “other ways to work my hoes,” including, of course, online expansion.

-“Stack money to the ceiling.”

-Finally, of course, “attend the Players Ball in Vegas (cross country pimpin!).”

So there you have it, Charlie Sheen.

LA Weekly