The female orgasm is as elusive as it is astounding, with much of the physical results occurring out of plain sight. Aside from the occasional squirt (aka female ejaculation) and flushed face, it's often difficult for men to figure out if an orgasm actually happened.

But many women fake orgasms in order to end an unsatisfactory sex session, knowing that no amount of instruction will get her to peak at that point. And while I don't condone the act, it's something that around 60 percent of women have done in order to make the sucky sex stop.

But it's not that difficult to figure out whether or not your chick is pretending you're her sex god. Here are five telltale results of a female orgasm that, if you don't feel/see/hear them there's a good chance you need to start brushing up on your sex skills — and start communicating better in the bedroom.

You can't hide the good ol' sex flush

You can't hide the good ol' sex flush

1. The Sex Flush

About 75 percent of women will experience a noticeable red flush to their cheeks, feet and hands as part of the sexual excitement and response cycle. During and following a good ol' orgasm, her blood pressure rises enough for the skin to develop a nice deep hue and inform onlookers of her carnal accomplishment.

This is called vasocongestion, and believe it or not even a woman's clitoris and vagina will darken into a deep pink color. So basically, open your eyes and you'll probably be able to tell whether or not her moans and screams were legit.

Deep breathing never looked so good.

Deep breathing never looked so good.

2. Deep Breathing

Oxygen is key for steady blood flow and as women get closer to the big finish their breathing patterns drastically change. Whereas they may have been inhaling short gasps of air (often a reaction to being railed good and hard) their intake morphs into a deeper, calmer (sometimes) series of breaths.

Many men (and women) don't know that deeper breaths can enhance an orgasm to amazing heights, and those who are in the trance-like state leading up to the big finish often find themselves breathing as though they're in the midst of a trendy yoga class.

If your partner's breathing remained one-note the entire time — especially leading up to their ultimate O — there's a chance she might have been exaggerating just a tad.

"Well, she's definitely faking."

“Well, she's definitely faking.”

3. Rapid Heart Rate

As another part of the sexual excitement and response cycle, our heart rates increases along with our blood pressure as the body works to send a fresh flow of blood to the areas of the body that play a key role in the copulation process.

With each beat the heart sends newly oxygenated blood throughout the system, and with special focus needed for the sex organs (regular blood flow contributes to, among other things, skin sensitivity and steady erections) more beats are needed per minute to keep blood flowing to the rest of the body.

If your partner's heart rate remains the same as it was when you were watching “Law & Order” reruns earlier there's a good chance she didn't have a true-blue orgasm.

Ah. The Clench. There it is.

Ah. The Clench. There it is.

4. The Clench of Death Awesomeness

There's all kinds of talk about PC muscles and kegel exercises and they're not just for vaginal rejuvenation and preventing women from peeing a little when they laugh really hard. (Though keeping the muscles strong absolutely does both.)

The pubococcygeus muscles line the vaginal walls and are activated when making that clenching sensation. Squeezing these PC muscles during sex add a much appreciated surprise for the men, and the ladies will be happy to learn that the stronger you keep your PC muscles, the harder you'll come.

And what many men don't know is the vagina automatically repeatedly contracts and releases the PC muscles during orgasm, an involuntary act believed in part to encourage sperm to flow up the vagina to the cervix.

So when your partner's vagina seems to be swallowing — almost chewing on — your dick, fingers or fist as she has an orgasm, it's probably the real deal. But if her orgasm sounds boisterous but your member remains un-hugged, you might want to rethink your bedroom success.

It probably won't be this dramatic.

It probably won't be this dramatic.

5. A Gush of Goo

Last, but certainly not least, is the steady flow of vaginal secretions and — for lack of a better word — goop that comes out as she comes all over the place. As women get turned on, their vaginas become slippery and wet, the perfect invitation for fornication.

And following an orgasm — especially an intense one — the vagina (and the surrounding area) likely will be drenched with natural gooey goodness.

So if her eyes roll back while she screams “Oh yes!” yet her pelvic region is bone dry or feels in need of some extra lubrication, she may just be pulling a fast one to make it home in time for “American Idol.”

LA Weekly