What is it about sports that makes everyone go crazy? Seriously, they're entertaining and all, but its just a game. Why do people get so into it? Oh wait…
Alright, so there may not be anything too sexual about beating a ball back and forth with a racket… I think… but we all have to admit, the noises that some of these players make definitely have bedroom connotations. Take for example, the lovely Williams sisters. Both Venus and Serena have been known to cause a huge racket on the court, (see what I did there?) and often their opponents have complained because the noise put them off their game. I'm not sure if the same applies in the bedroom. Apart from all the guttural gasping that goes on in a game of tennis, there's also the fact that an awful lot of female tennis players wear skirts that my mother would never let me out in; short, white, and leaving little to the imagination. Its safe to say that Anna Kournikova owes at least some of her huge male following to the skimpy piece of material she always had flapping around her thighs while she concentrated on her grunting.
Seriously. Have you ever seen a beach volleyball tournament? The Brazilian ladies team is like an advertisement for Victoria's Secret. These women are not human, they're like some kind of Amazonian tribe of goddesses, and they know how to dress to bring in the viewers. I mean, it takes place on a beach, so naturally they have to wear beach attire. And let me tell you, they know how to wear it. The men aren't too bad either, with their tanned skin and stomachs you could grate a block of cheese on. Sun, sand and sexy outfits all contribute to this being a sport that gets everyone hot under the collar.
I mean, those huddles, known as scrums, are pretty intimate. Come to think of it, the word scrum kind of sounds like an innuendo. Any sport that involves men running around in little shorts, tackling each other, and pinning one another to the ground HAS to be considered sexual. On top of that, just have a look at some of the fine specimens of men that take part. Have you ever seen thighs so sturdy? Granted, some of their faces leave a little bit to be desired, probably from being repeatedly smushed into the ground/other men's crotches. There's always an exception to the rule though. In this case the exception comes in the form of the stupidly beautiful Tommy Bowe, an Irish rugby player that makes men and women alike weak at the knees.
Uh… duh. There's not much to say about this one, really. If you can't see the similarities between wrestling and a night out in WeHo, I'm not sure how to spell it out for you.
There's something about the tight, tight leotards, and the bendy, bendy gymnasts that means that honestly, you might as well be watching a porno. Those men swiveling their hips around a long phallus shaped contraption, those women throwing themselves around poles… The innuendos are inevitable. There's even something vaguely erotic about the way male gymnasts suspend themselves from those rings. Its all very bondage like. Just with less leather and more lycra.