Yes, yes. We know. Valentine's Day is overrated. If you're single, it's a day seemingly created just to make you feel bad about yourself. If you're in a relationship, it's a day seemingly concocted to make you drop cash on dinner and presents a mere two months after the holiday present season.
Luckily, plenty of places in Los Angeles feel your pain and are not above mocking the holiday — meaning there are still ways to go out and actually have fun on Valentine's Day.
10. Feel the Burn at Crunch, SoulCycle
Have some built-up breakup hostility? Release your tensions with a lunchtime kickboxing class at Crunch Fitness in Burbank, where you're invited to focus your aggression by taping a picture of an ex to an opponent's mitt. And trendy spin center SoulCycle is offering Valentine's-themed rides (think lots of breakup music) at 4:15 p.m. at their Brentwood studio and 7:30 p.m. at their West Hollywood location. And, to ensure that everyone gets a present on Valentine's Day, SoulCycle's new Santa Monica studio is giving first-timers vouchers for free classes (coupons are shaped like hearts, natch).
9. Love Hurts at LACMA
The Los Angeles County Museum of Art would like to remind all moping singles that it could be worse. The museum's guided Love Hurts tour features works of art depicting heartbreak, jealousy and disastrous affairs. You can then drown your sorrows in chef Jason Fullilove's four-course dinner, which features roast chicken with black truffles and Tahitian vanilla crème brule.
8. Topshop and Topman at the Grove
Need a little retail therapy to get you through Valentine's Day? Topshop, Britain's greatest export since Colin Firth, and its male counterpart, Topman, opens its first Los Angeles location at 4 p.m. February 14 at the Grove. To celebrate, the store will take over the Grove's courtyard that day in what they describe as “a true British street party.” Free surprises, live music and special guests are on hand to celebrate the day.
Topshop and Topman, 189 The Grove Dr., Fairfax, www.topshop.com.
7. Downtown Art Walk
Have a few exes who were real pieces of work? Replace them with actual artwork. Downtown's monthly art walk happens to fall on Valentine's Day this month — a perfect opportunity to stroll the streets, hear some live music, people watch, partake of food trucks, and maybe even pick up something new for your abode.
Until 10 p.m. More information at www.downtownartwalk.org.
6. My Bitter Valentine at the Other Door
Billed for “singles and miserable couples,” North Hollywood lounge the Other Door is inviting guests to “bring someone you tolerate” and wash memories of the holiday away with live music, cocktails and treats. Dressing in black scores you a free shot.
8 p.m. to close. $5 cover. More information at www.theotherdoor.com.
5. Drawing Party at ArtWorks Studio
Because everyone deserves to see someone naked on Valentine's Day, there are the Drawing Party events. Book some space at the ArtWorks Studio. They'll provide the model with a gender of your choosing, the art supplies and even the dinner and drinks. You provide a group of friends who want to have some fun while learning how to sketch nude models.
Prices vary. More information at www.drawingparty.com.
4. Anti-Valentine's Party at Birds
Fly over to Franklin Avenue for martinis, voodoo doll therapy and more at Birds' annual Anti-Valentine's Party. Think you have the best getting dumped story? Enter their contest to see if you might actually come out a winner this Valentine's Day.
Doors at 8 p.m. More information at www.birdshollywood.com.
3. Single-Ine Day Party at Lucky Strike Hollywood
Feeling knocked down by love? Lucky Strike has a full itinerary of singles-friendly events on Valentine's Day, including speed dating, a singles mixer and an early-evening happy hour. And, oh year, bowling.
Door at 6 p.m. Prices vary. More information: www.bowlluckystrike.com.
2. Addicted to Love at Skinny's Lounge
Well, Hell's Belles. These sexy, dancing ladies have a rock 'n roll-themed burlesque show planned for Valentine's Day at Skinny's in North Hollywood.
Doors at 7 p.m. Tickets $20 in advance, $25 at the door. More information: www.skinnyslounge.com.
1. Mortified at King King
And you thought that time you drunk-dialed your ex was bad. Mortified, the legendary series that mocks the pains of youth, returns to King King for its annual Doomed Valentine's Show.
Doors at 8 p.m. $15 in advance; $20 door. More information at www.getmortified.com.