The food media world was chomping at the bit to see last night's highly anticipated Simpsons episode. “The Food Wife” has Marge, Lisa and Bart write a food blog called The Three Mouthkateers as they make their way through the surprisingly eclectic Springfield food scene. There are snotty foodies and bloggers, celebrity chefs real (Anthony Bourdain and Gordon Ramsay lent their voices) and imagined (the chef at Springfield's hot molecular gastronomy restaurant was an amalgam of Ferran Adrià and José Andrés, according to executive producer Matt Selman), and a nod to the Anton Ego's moment when he has that first bite of ratatouille in Ratatouille. Plenty of insider jokes at foodies' expense season the episode.
So was it as funny to a non-food-world person as it was to someone who could identify each culinary personality in Marge's dream (check out #3 below)? Safe to say, yes; it is still The Simpsons, after all. For foodists, the whole episode is entirely quotable — we're sure it will be in the food blogosphere for years to come — but here are at least 10 favorite quotes:
10. “They're using pancakes as spoons!” — Lisa, ogling diners in (what's obviously L.A.'s) Little Ethiopia.
9. “That's good gloop!” — a party in Marge's mouth, after her first bite of Ethiopian food.
8. Foodie #1: “We discovered Korean barbecue in this town.”
Lisa: “Uh, before the Koreans?”
Foodie #2: “Oh, sure, they cook it, but they don't get it.”
7. “Alright, food nerds. Reality check: All the food in those pictures is poop by now. Minds blown. You're welcome.” — Homer, trying to burst the new food bloggers' bubble
6. “Pine needle sorbet? Pine needle sorbet?! My kids do NOT eat sorbet. They eat sherbet, and they pronounce it sherbert, and they wish it was ice cream!” — Homer, after Lisa shows him a video of the chef from El Chemistri make pine needle sorbet
5. “Fine, blow off Fun Dad and go eat your walrus mustaches and deep-fried pixie wings.” — Homer to Bart, who puts away his bag of walrus mustaches.
4. “The next course is: regret.” — El Chemistri chef explaining one course–a bowl of soup intensified by one tear of the server who placed it on the table. He also served pork chops 100 ways, and a deconstructed Caesar salad with instructions on how to eat it.
3. “I'm food bad boy Tony Bourdain. There's nowhere I won't go, and nothing I won't eat as long as I'm paid in emeralds and my hotel room has a bidet that shoots warm champagne.” — Anthony Bourdain in Marge's dream. In it he leads a bouncy procession with the Swedish Chef from the Muppets, Mario Batali, Julia Child, Colonel Sanders, Wolfgang Puck, and Guy Fieri riding on the shoulders of Paul Prudhomme.
2. “Marge, this isn't a food restaurant. It's a meth restaurant. A meth-taurant!” — Homer in the OTHER building without a sign out front, with an open kitchen full of chemicals, test tubes and what he thinks are 'hipsters' at a communal table.
1. The food-bloggers' rap in its entirety:
We're blogging a food blog…
I'm throwning down mad foodie game, knowing all the chefs' names
Rolling into K-Town, bibimbap bulgogi
The hotties that I chill with are Sriracha and kimchi
House-made terrines, my ducks are always confit
I braise with a billion more BTUs than I need
I cook Thanksgiving turkey in a trash bag, sous vide
A fumatore in Brindisi Fed-Exes me small salami
Don't scoop me gelato unless it's got umami
I'll be Frank like Bruni, ruthless like Reichl
Wiley like Dufresne, and when I take the mic
Rhyme about radicchio, criticize Colicchio
Every pub is gastro, all my beef carpaccio
Throw it in the pho, yo
And don't you call it pho, pho
Talk about broth-squirting dumplings
Dumplings! Dumplings! Dumplings!
We're blogging a food blog…
Lesley Balla is a freelance food writer. Find her at www.chowballa.com, or follow @lesleyla.
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