See our update about how Deschanel's publicist says she lives in … Studio City, here.

Zooey Deschanel fought back against venerable Los Angeles Times columnist and KPCC (89.3 FM) host Patt Morrison this week after the journalist called out the actress for dissing downtown L.A. during the royal couple's visit.

Deschanel's retort was acerbic and defensive.

She even called Morrison's journalistic integrity into question. (Well, this is actually de rigueur now that everyone has a laptop and a blog and surely knows how it's done).

But if you read between the bare-fisted lines, the actress's argument comes across as hollow:

Deschanel was present during the royal couple's visit this weekend to the recently restored Belasco Theater downtown. She was quoted by USA Today's Claudia Puig as saying “I just don't want them to see the worst of L.A.”

Credit: Belasco Theater

Credit: Belasco Theater

Morrison, trusting Puig's account because she's a former Times colleague, tore into the actress, calling her a “cow” and writing:

Ms. Deschanel's remarks are all the more gob-smacking because the success of her 2009 film “[500] Days of Summer” is chiefly thanks to … downtown L.A. The Times said the architecture is the star of the film, from the Music Center to the towering California Plaza and the haunting [and maybe haunted — it was built on the advice of a Ouija board] Bradbury Building.

Did Ms. Deschanel not look any farther than her trailer door?

Morrison even accused Deschanel of being a Westsider (low blow, Patt), a claim that was later corrected in the column.

The actress shot back via a site called HelloGiggles, claiming the quote was taken out of context, that she was misquoted, that “I love downtown L.A.,” and that she's not, in fact, a Westsider.

Let's consider those points one-by-one:

-Whether or not Deschanel's words were taken out of context, or whether or not she was misquoted, we might not ever know: Only the reporter and the actress know for sure. We can say that 90-percent-plus of the time, in our experience, when a source claims to have been quoted out of context or misquoted it usually involves a not-so-flattering utterance that was accurate but which they'd rather just take back. (Ask any journalist about that).

And, in 2009, while promoting (500) Days of Summer, Deschanel told this to the New York Times:

Will and Kate arrived in L.A. Friday.

Will and Kate arrived in L.A. Friday.

I think there are so many films that romanticize New York in that way, but it's not like a perfect city. It's dirty, and if you blow your nose, there's dirt coming out.

Sound familiar?

And, here's the thing: If her words were taken out of context or recorded wrong, correct the record. What was the context? What was the correct wording? (Silence).

-She says she loves downtown L.A. But in an Architectural Digest feature titled “Shopping with Zooey Deschanel,” the actress takes the writer to her favorite retail haunts … along Beverly Boulevard near the Fairfax District.

-She says she's not a Westsider.

Really Zooey? You grew up in Pacific Palisades, went to Crossroads high school in Santa Monica, and, in that 2004 Architectural Digest piece, admit to living in Beverly Hills.

In a 2008 Times piece on the eve of your wedding to Ben Gibbard it states the rocker is moving into your home in … Hancock Park. Now, unless they moved Hancock Park, or unless you're one of those hipster tards who thinks Silver Lake is “Eastside,” you're a Westsider to the bone, Zooey. While some might argue that Hancock Park isn't exactly as Westside as Beverly Hills, it's west of downtown, it runs along “West” number streets, and it was L.A.'s original old-money Westside.

Funny thing is, once again, Deschanel's tongue is sharp, but selectively so. She fails to say exactly where she lives. The Times fell for it though. I hope that if she does live in Hancock Park the paper will take back its correction. That's not Eastside and it's not downtown.

Own it, Zooey. Throw your W in the air. We do. Just don't tango with Patt “The Hat” Morrison. Or L.A.'s true aficionados. You'll get your ass handed to you.


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