Disagreements happen. And it’s never cool to go through one with someone you care about. Depending on you and what triggers you most — either ignoring you or ranting at you can only make the situation worse. But the question is, what even is actually worse? And what would you prefer they do instead? Because people have different love languages — but your loved one’s fight language may be different from what you’re used to handling.
Find out which type of fight language your partner uses and understands.
Different Types of Fight Language
Fighting is a form of negativity — and nobody wants that. However, disagreements are inevitable. Good thing there are ways to understand why people react to conflict in the way they do!
“New day. Who dis?”
We can all agree that nobody likes to live in a toxic and hostile environment. But sometimes, our safe space will get a good rocking — it’s a matter of fact that we cannot control it! What’s controllable, however, is how a person deals with it. If you’re with someone who likes to pretend that everything is fine, it may not be because they’re not bothered by reality — they just like preserving fantasy. Unless they’re left with no choice but to discuss reality, they will act as though everything is fine.
We’ve all been told off as kids — that’s how we calibrate our moral compasses. However, learning doesn’t stop there (especially when we have to relearn someone else’s upbringing and why they’re the way they are). Unless you were given the freedom and permission to call out your parents at an early age, the most common way of dealing with disagreements is by keeping quiet and taking it all in — regardless of how valid your point is (or was). Some people don’t want to exacerbate conflict. Thus, they opt to remain silent in situations like this.
Mr./Ms. Perfectly Fine — Until They’re Not
Ever felt like someone was closely keeping an eye on you because they were waiting for you to make a mistake? That’s right. Your own partner may be doing just that! It may sound toxic — but it’s not always the case! Sometimes, they’re just waiting for the perfect opportunity to discuss what they think matters. Your partner can be fine one moment and be triggered by the most ignorable thing next — and when it happens, it usually gets very intense. Because they’ve been bottling up their emotions for too long. Therefore, be prepared!
Pound-for-Pound Nagger of the World
When the topic of aggression comes into play, we often think of physical violence — but it’s not always the case. While nobody likes to be on the receiving end of an aggressive tirade, there are times (and people we chose to be in our lives) when someone would do just that. Others are just simply not inclined to keep quiet — and there are times when you just have to deal with their fight language. After all, it’s always nice to “speak up.” What isn’t nice, however, is when they reach the point of being unreasonable — or worse, — physically violent.
Good vibes ONLY! — that’s what everyone wants in their lives, amirite? But nobody has their cards handed out like that! That’s why many resort to trying their best in purchasing a metaphorical ticket to the “live, laugh, love” train — and there’s usually a demand when there’s conflict in a relationship. If you think your “negative energy” is what your partner needs in order to sustain themselves, then you should either rethink where you stand or perhaps you should do some self-reflection yourself.
The “Unanimous Decision”
Humans may be mammals in nature but their ways of showing aggression, dominance, and just simply making a point have evolved. These days, we’re exposed to a variety of fight languages to let our partners know what we actually want. But as understandable as it may be to get your point across, ask yourself first whether or not you have a valid reason to “fight” them the way you know how.
Last but not least, each and every individual react to conflict differently — but violence isn’t (and shouldn’t) be one of the options!
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