FRIDAY, March 31

Your hip friend: “Going to the Strokes tonight?” You: “Nah. Couldn’t get on the list.” Your hip friend: “Screw ’em; assholes haven’t paid their dues.” Speaking of paying their dues, the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles have been at it for 27 years. Before they take off for a tour of South America, the men will perform their new program, ¡Carnaval!,which features Monteverdi and Elton John songs, among others, performed with a Latin beat. Alex Theater, 216 N. Brand Blvd., Glendale; Fri.-Sat., March 31-April 1, 8 p.m.; Sun., April 2, 3 p.m.; $19.50-$42.50. (818) 243-2539.


In the desert, you can’t remember your name. April Fool’s! Yes, you can, except there ain’t no one for to give you no pain. Celebrate April Fool’s Day with Art at the Integratron, George Van Tassel’s energy-recharging dome that sits on a geomagnetic vortex in the Mojave Desert. The brains behind this art/spoken-word/music event is desert resident Johnette Napolitano of Concrete Blonde. “The idea of art being in the building and taken to the 10th power by the giant Tesla coil up the middle of the building and sending it all out into space appeals to me,” she says. “The Integratron is built on three underground rivers that converge. Let’s celebrate spring and just try to balance the vibe and maybe start reversing the energy, just as George Van Tassel intended.” Along with a solo performance, Napolitano will also display some of her new art made from found objects. “I don’t have trash pickup where I live and that affects everything I do and everything I buy,” she says. “There are quite a lot of artists up here, and all Joshua Tree people are conscious like that. Unless they’re weird-ass tweakers, in which case when their meth labs explode, then you just build things out of whatever’s left. I found a great old turntable in a burned-out cabin.” Also on the bill are writer-musician Mick Farren, David J from Bauhaus and James Trussart. “The people I’ve invited to be a part of this are avant-garde spirits,” Napolitano says. “I like to imagine whoever is up there at the end of the spacial spiral is listening to Mick read and saying, ‘Marklar! ?He’s a smart one for a human!’?” 2477 Belfield Blvd., Landers; Sat., April 1, art exhibition at 2 p.m., ?music around sunset; free. (760) 364-3126; ?

SUNDAY, April 2

Whoever came up with this great idea of teaming a poet laureate with a poetic songwriter should be applauded. An Evening of Spoken Word & Song featuring Billy Collins and Mary Chapin Carpenter promises to be a “luminous evening of music, readings and insights.” Maybe he’ll sing “Cross Eyed Mary.” Maybe she’ll do “Billy, Don’t Be a Hero.” Maybe not. Royce Hall, Westwood; Sun., April 2, 7 p.m.; $25-$48. (310) 825-2101. See Music Pick.

MONDAY, April 3

Can’t make it to the desert for Art at the Integratron? At the Hotel Café, where there are no interfering Tesla coils, Johnette Napolitano will take the mike for a solo show. Ms. Napolitano’s new Sketchbook #2 is out now and it’s stunningly beautiful, all written, played, recorded and even illustrated by the artist herself. She’ll probably throw in an old Concrete Blondechestnut or two, too. The Hotel Café, 1623 1/2 N. Cahuenga Blvd., Hlywd.; Mon., April 3, 9 p.m.; $12. (323) 461-2040.

TUESDAY, April 4

Bowling shoes and comedy are a natural fit, and now we have Lucky Strike Comedy, a new weekly standup show with way-better-than-usual weekly comics. Laura Valdivia is the funny face behind the evening, which includes Ian Bagg, Dan Levy, Ryan Stout, Dixon Matthews, Abel Arias and Duncan Trussell. Lucky Strike Lanes, Hollywood & Highland; Tues., April 4, 10 p.m.; free. (323) 467-7776.


When he spoke last year at the Music Center, William Jefferson (“You Can Call Me Bill”) Clinton gave a speech consisting of 13,543 words, minus a few from Warren Olney. At $50 for the cheapest ticket, that amounts to . . . well, I can’t do the math, but it’s pretty cheap for a former president. The ex-prez will probably talk about his foundation, Iraq, and where he likes to party when in L.A. (True story: After a function in Doha, Qatar, last year, he asked some State Department staff members where the nightclubs were.) Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, Music Center, 135 N. Grand Ave., dwntwn.; Wed.-Thurs., April 5-6, 8 p.m.; $50-$200. (213) 480-3232.


At $47.50 for the cheapest ticket, Ron White is your ?best bet for jokes per dollar (again, I was never told math would be part of this job). His “Drunk in Public” tour gets downer and dirtier than his material with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour (seems Jeff Foxworthy’s a family redneck-man). WalMart even banned White’s latest CD. He said recently, “They’ll sell videos that are rated R with full-frontal nudity, and they’ll sell CDs where Jimmy Buffett sings all those songs about getting drunk, but they won’t stock mine? I love it.” Maybe if he drank margaritas instead of tumblers of scotch. Thousand Oaks Civic Arts Plaza, Fred Kavli Theater, 2100 E. Thousand Oaks Blvd.; Thurs., April 6, 8 p.m.; $47.50-$57.50. (805) 449-ARTS.

LA Weekly