Old-School Sure-Fire Tear-Inducing Karaoke Playlist
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
“Ooo, Baby, Baby”
“The Love I Saw in You Was Just a Mirage”
The Four Tops
“Ask the Lonely”
“Baby, I Need Your Loving”
“Hey There Lonely Girl”
“Since I Lost My Baby”
“You’re My Everything”
Martha and the Vandellas
“Love Makes Me Do Things So Foolish”
“Here and Now”
“Close the Door”
“Turn Out the Lights”
“You Are Everything”
“You Make Me Feel Brand New”
“Break Up To Make Up”
“You Decorated My Life”
“I’ve Got So Much Time To Give”
“La, La, Means I Love You”
“Break Your Promise”
“Didn’t I Blow Your Mind”
“Three Times a Lady”
The Righteous Brothers
“You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”
Chairman of the Board
“Give Me Just a Little More Time”
—Lovell Estell III
Who do you want me to be to make you sleep with me?1
My advice, which is really my mother’s advice, is to just be yourself.
Don’t they know they’re so damn lame?2
Does your mother know that you’re out?3
Frankly, I don’t see how this is your concern.
Was it me she was foolin’ ’cause she knew what she was doin’ when she
told me how to walk this way?4
While I’ll allow that “walk this way” is a compelling metaphor for sexual congress
between consenting adults, the question suggests unexpected expertise from someone
much younger than yourself, which is another way of saying that elf-chick daughter
of yours is super hot.
Do you really want to hurt me?5
Everyone wants to hurt Boy George.
If, when, why, what? How much have you got?6
$3.25, and I need it for a smoothie.
Do you wanna get down?7
I thought you’d never ask. Beep beep, baby, beep beep.
Should I stay or should I go?8
The quintessential question and, sadly, one that’s already been answered.
1 Animotion; 2 Circle Jerks; 3 Abba; 4 Aerosmith; 5 Culture Club;
6 Pet Shop Boys; 7 Donna Summer; 8 The Clash
10 Tragically Short-Lived Hollywood Nightclubs
2. Stavros’s Cafe
10. Amanda Scheer Demme’s Half-Finished Bottle of Grey Goose at the Roosevelt
—Mark Lisanti and Seth Abramovitch, editors,
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