The statutory-rape case of former San Bernardino Sheriff's Deputy Nathan Gastineau, 30, is getting wilder by the minute: Though he's been out on bail since April, fighting six felony charges related to allegedly screwing a minor in his Explorer program while on duty, he was thrown back in jail today after posting a “threatening” rant to his Facebook.

“What on earth were you thinking?” asked the judge. However, as Loma Linda Patch was quick to point out, Gastineau's post was just a monologue from “Battlestar Galactica”:

“This is your Admiral. I know there've been a lot of rumors going around … about the destruction that's been visited on my life. I would like to tell you that they're exaggerations, but in fact it cannot even come close to convey the horror that's been unleashed. The facts are … that my reputation has been destroyed, my job has been nuked, and my best friend is in jail. I imagine you're all asking yourselves the same question I am: What do we do now? Do we run? Do we hide? I think those are the easy choices. A philosopher once said “When faced with untenable alternatives you should consider your imperative.” Tomorrow, look around you. Our imperative is right there, in our friendships, in our hearts, in our statements to the media, and in ourselves. War is our imperative. And if right now victory seems like an impossibility, then we have something else to reach for: revenge, payback. So we will fight. Because in the end it's the only alternative my enemy has left us. I say let's make them understand that as long as I still have a breath in me, that this war, that they started, will not be over. Thank you everyone for the support your about to show me tomorrow. I will see you on the other side.”

Just the kind of thing that a co-director of Colonel Defense Forces, Inc. — “whose purpose is to promote, support, and acknowledge the philosophies and ideals portrayed in the fictional Battlestar Galactica universe in a realistic fashion through organized fandom, community outreach and social activism on a local level” — would write in response to rape allegations.

Gastineau is apparently convinced of his innocence — ready to go to “war” in defense of his good, if geeky, name. And his friends are going so far as to argue the alleged teen victim is to blame. ABC News reports from the San Bernardino courtroom:

“I think what people need to understand is there is such a thing called a female teenage predator,” [said Bonnie Lucas, a friend of the defendant.] “They have these crushes on people, and then when they don't get their way, most of the girls will just go away, but this girl has decided to take it to another level.”

And what kind of level, we wonder, would a “Battlestar Galactica” revenge rant fall on? (Makes us almost grateful our own L.A. County Sheriff's deputies stick to good-old-fashioned arson and Scientology fliers.)

Update: Another of Gastineau's friends, 27-year-old Jason Anguiano, with whom he attends formerly attended Inland Empire Ghostbusters meetings (we couldn't make this stuff up), was also arrested in April, on suspicion of raping the same 16-year-old Redlands girl.

Updated to exclude information printed by the Press-Enterprise that Ghostbusters membership includes teens. According to org officials, “this group NO LONGER includes teenagers.” They issued us the following statement:

“As you are aware, 3 members of our organization became involved in circumstances earlier this year that DO NOT involve our organization nor DID NOT occur at any of our events. In the recent article you published in LA Weekly on August 2, 2011, you named the Inland Empire Ghostbusters which represents more than those 3 members. It represents an entire group of people. The actions of the 3 members involved do not reflect the Inland Empire Ghostbusters and our purpose in the community.”

The Weekly also apologizes for having posted the Inland Empire Ghostbusters' logo without permission.

Here's a description of the sheriff's Explorer program where Gastineau allegedly met his victim — completely impossible to read without innuendo:

The Explorer Program is designed to educate youth, ages 14 1/2 to 21, and provide in-depth, first-hand experience in the field of Law Enforcement. Through training and involvement, explorers gain an awareness of the complexities of police services toward the ultimate goal making a possible career in Law Enforcement. To do this, explorers attend a 2-week stress academy. This is a learning environment in which students are taught the fundamentals of police procedures, firearms instruction, defensive tactics, the use of chemical agents, handcuffing techniques and much more. Following graducation, explorers are then able to go on Ride-alongs with a deputy sheriff as passengers in the patrol car.

What's a man to do, when some hot young Explorer goes all teen-crush predator on his authoritative ass?

Blech. Gastineau is being held on $350,000 bail, and will be back in court this August 25.


Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.