As if being a young person isn't hard enough, the California DMV is now making motorists under the age of 21 carry around vertical drivers licenses that immediately identify you as underage — and unable to purchase alcohol.
Can you imagine being pulled over while on a date, with the cop asking, “Are you vertical?” “No man, I'm horizontal, I swear.”
Wow. Talk about a game-killer. And it's unfair. What if other demographic groups had to pocket differently shaped driver's licenses:
Known ecstasy users would have to obtain purple-fur-covered licenses.
Drivers over the age of 60 would have to carry iPad-sized driver's licenses with large print.
Cab drivers would have knife-shaped driver's licenses that actually could be used as weapons in the likely event they are robbed on-the-job.
Illegal immigrants would finally be able to get California driver's licenses … that look like Home Depot credit cards.
Alleged cocaine users (we're looking at you Lindsay and Paris) would be able to get an optional license that has a mirrored surface along with a sharp, razor's edge.