“What are you going to be for Halloween this year?” I asked a friend of friend last week.    “I'm gonna be a 'ho,” she replied matter of factly.    “That should be easy,” I answered, not even thinking.     Later, our mutual pal pointed out just how bitchy my reply sounded.But I hadn't meant it as an insult. Rather, I was just pointing out what little effort it takes for a fairly attractive female to slut it up. A short skirt, fishnets, and a low cut top… even moderately conservative gals have these items or some semblence of them in their closets.     I have a few of each (but I swear, I never wear 'em all together).    As for Halloween costumes, I've done all the typical girlie getups: the devil, the angel, the princess, the fairy, the (sexy) witch… anything that did not require me to be ugly or too scary.     Is that vain? Probably. But Halloween is all about fantasy and who fantasizes about being an ogre?     Still, some people take it too far. This past weekend I saw my share of pasties and panties, and while I'm no prude, some of these get-ups just had no imagination. It was just a bunch of attention whores pretending to be something more.     Even when me and my girlfriends did the whole Pimp n' Ho thing (10 years ago), we had a sense of humor about it; we decked our “pimp” out in authentic 70s garb, not the cheesy stuff they sell on Hollywood Blvd these days. We wore real vintage sequined hot pants and platforms, along with bad wigs, bright blue eyeshadow, big spidery false eyelashes and sticky bubblegum pink lipgloss. We wanted to look like we walked out of a time machine.    This year I was way too busy to put that much effort into the whole Halloween thing. I pulled out two quickie getups: a cave girl and a lady bug. Both were easy enough to put together with stuff I already own. I tied my hair up in a plastic bone and threw on a leopard dress and prestro chango… I was Pepples.     And while guys will always take advantage of the opportunity to be creepy and many girls will do the same to be foxy, others use Halloween as an excuse to shock.    Post-acquital, Wacko Jacko's still popular. This dude actually had a doll tied to his lower portion (yes, he's BAD). Below, two other tasteless costumes that caused quite a stir on Saturday night.

Yup, it's Matthew Shepard and Jon Benet Ramsey. Totally offensive yes… But is it any worse than going as a serial killer like Jeffrey Dammer or John Wayne Gacy?

    Bad costumes aside, Halloween's a weird holiday isn't it? All our lives we're told not to take candy from strangers and one night a year, parents dress up their tots and take them to strange homes to do just that– and in murderous costumes to boot (like that ghost mask from the Scream movies…I had a kid who couldn't have been more than 4 years old in one of 'em at my door this year).      Still, there's something about the mystery of it all. A room full of revelers all in disguises and masks. It's no wonder Halloween has become the ultimate eve of debauchery and mischief. Whether it's due to clever marketing by costume manufacterers or simply our own desires for escapism, this holiday's tricks and treats stopped being merely kid's stuff a long time ago. For more Halloween-themed mayhem see Nightranger in this week's paper.

Posted by Lina Lecaro

LA Weekly