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All major news sources this morning are clawing at whatever mangled corpse is left of the TSA hype. Today was supposed to be national opt-out day — and still could be, of course, once the straight-laced early-morning travelers give way to rambunctious noon-flight types — but so far, passengers have been chickening out and just letting TSA employees X-ray their junk anyway.

Come on, people! Whatever happened to the kilt-with-no-underwear spirit? Your country needs you now. No, you do not have places to be. Don't pretend you're in such a hurry to see smelly Uncle Richard that the opt-out just isn't worth it anymore. For all of us behind a desk today, put your pat-down where your mouth is and let freedom ring!

Media outlets report the bleak reality of the exhaustively talked/Tweeted-about protest at LAX this morning:

  • NBC got everyone all riled up with a story about a girl who planned on walking through the scanners in nothing but a bikini a little after 8 a.m. The network sort of even encouraged an opt-out by advertising a free iPod Touch giveaway for the first 10 protesters who refused to pass through the nudie scanning machines and Tweeted #touchedbytsa.
  • Marisa Maola, TSA security director, told MSNBC that “there have been 'no signs' of a protest and some security lines are actually shorter today than in previous day-before-Thanksgivings.” The situation at LAX was brushed off with a “business as usual.” Wah wah.
  • ABC7 and the Huffington Post report similar lulls in rebellion. Sadly, it's all tumbleweeds and roller bags out there. A disappointingly calm John Pistole, TSA administrator, told “Good Morning America” that he hadn't received news of op-out flareups yet, and wasn't very worried. (But could it just be a conspiracy to scare us into line??)
  • Our trustiest source — the civilian-powered, trash-talking Twitter — confirmed the morningtime bust. Though Tweeters continue to carry on about “gate rape” and relay the second-hand horrors of those groped by TSA agents, the general consensus is anticlimactic. Although a sarahandharlow (below) does report an encounter with a member of the elusive security anarchists. (More importantly, there's been an LAX Beyonce sighting. With Twitpics!) Some notes from the field:

Credit: Twitter

Credit: Twitter

Credit: Twitter

Credit: Twitter

Credit: Twitter

Credit: Twitter

LA Weekly