Hard Summer — Los Angeles' biggest, brightest, and boobiest EDM festival — took place this past weekend. Among the throngs of EDM revelers were a number of gorgeous ladies whom I'd love to wife up. However, as was true of the luscious throngs at EDC Las Vegas, they were mostly out of my league. And so here are five unattainable Hard girls who make me, well, excited.
Forget Superman. I can be your hero, baby. (Forget Enrique Iglesias too.)
Who wants to see my Dayglo, Borat-style floss swimsuit?
I will. To the ends of the Earth. (Just probably not on Twitter.)
You look cold, but you're in luck: I've got one of those blankets with arms at my place!
Sex, drugs, and dubstep? I can definitely provide you with one of those three things. (No, seriously, I've got a Skrillex CD in the trunk of my Kia.)