It was recently announced that this year some of the greatest media critics of our time will be returning to television. That's right, Beavis and Butt-head are back. For those of you who never experienced Beavis and/or Butt-head, here are their descriptions directly from Wikipedia. Beavis: “Has an underbite and a fixated stare on his face, which is almost always shown in profile. Beavis grunts when he laughs, has a more guttural voice and has a penchant for picking his nose.” Butt-head: “Wears dental braces has squinty eyes and a drooping nose with prominent nostrils. His top gums are often exposed due to a small upper lip and he speaks nasally with a deep voice and a slight lisp.”
A lot has changed in the world since Beavis and his life partner made their exit from television. What will Beavis think of the iPhone? How will Butt-head respond to a President named Barack Hussein Obama? And more importantly, what will they think of the state of music today? We were wondering the same thing, so we compiled 10 videos we want to see on the new Beavis and Butt-head:
10. Creed – Arms Wide Open
Back in the day, the dudes had plenty to say about Pearl Jam and even cultivated a highly accurate Eddie Vedder singing voice. Well, the guys weren't around when Creed hit the scene, but we know they'd have plenty to discuss about this video's inexplicable meteors, lighthouse destruction, and crucifix poses. We can almost hear Butt-head's Scott Stapp impression already.
9. Health – We Are Water
We know how that B&B are probably were the 20th century's most genitally obsessed guys since Sigmund Freud. So we'd love to experience their reaction to the climax of this Health video directed by Eric Wareheim. Nards beware!
8. Lady Gaga – Telephone
During this over-hyped Lady Gaga video, we know the couch-bound gentlemen would engage in a hearty discussion about Gaga's hermaphroditic rumors. Of course, one would have to tell the other what that meant, but ultimately once everything was cleared up, we could expect some mild to medium hilarity to ensue. Telephone…Tele-bone? Yeah, B&B would go there.
7. Mastodon – March of the Fire Ants
When Beavis and Butt-head come out of hibernation, they will witness a lot of the suckiness the 21st century. But as their ambassadors to this new world, we'd want them to know that some music legitimately rules. Mastodon would get the guys air kicking and head-banging in no time.
7. Enrique Iglesias – Tonight (I'm Fucking You)
Every now and then, Butt-head could get a little sexy. His voice gets lower and he slathers on the charm for the ladies. Not only would he like to witness the babes in this ridiculous video, but maybe he could try out Iglesias' pick up line: “Tonight, I'm fucking you.”
5. Matt & Kim – Lessons Learned
Sometimes Beavis shows a little bit of restraint, especially when the reward of naked chicks was involved. We think that Beavis could turn off his ADD for a while to wait for Kim to bare all in the Times Square. Come to think of it, he may enjoy watching Matt strip too.
4. Come to Daddy – Aphex Twin
Subjecting Beavis and Butt-head to the visual craziness of Chris Cunningham's clip for “Come to Daddy,” would be enjoyable not only to see what happens when their mania is pushed to the limit with quick cuts, but also to hear their own version: “Come to Butt-head.”
3. Disturbed – Down With the Sickness
It hasn't been confirmed, but we suspect that this song was actually written by Beavis himself. Listen to the opening lyrics, and ponder this for yourself.
Beavis and Butt-head would be shocked to learn that Kenny G. has turned to rock.
And the number one ideal target for Beavis & Butt-head's tomfoolery would be:
1. Justin Bieber
If one person today needs to get the royal treatment by Beavis and Butt-head, it's the Biebs. But knowing MTV as it is today, they'd probably make any sort of Bieber reference into a moneymaking scheme. I give them two episodes before the show relaunches in a more tween friendly format: Biebis and Butt-head.
Ten is never enough. What are some videos you think need to be berated by Beavis and Butt-head?
[Ed.'s Note: Train's “Hey Soul Sister.” Insane Clown Posse's “Fucking Magnets How Do They Work.”]