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[Editor's note: Odd Future member Lionel Boyce writes a weekly column for West Coast Sound. His archives are available here.]

There are 140,000 strands of hair in the mullet. I found that shit out on Google. When I think of the mullet, the first word that comes to mind is “amazing.” The image that comes to mind is of some white guy with a blond mullet in an acid-washed jean-jacket vest snorting lines of coke off the table while Led Zeppelin is blasting in the back-ground.

I would consider it a power hairstyle because when you see a person with it, the first thing you are probably thinking is either, “How unbelievably awesome that person is” or “That person clearly does not take any shit.”

Tyler; Credit: Kelly Clancy

Tyler; Credit: Kelly Clancy

During our senior year of high school, Domo Genesis, Tyler and I actually had mullets. We disproved the stereotype that only lower-class white people still wore them. I would walk through the school campus with my light-blond mullet and feel invincible. When Tyler, Domo and I recently reminisced about our mullet days, Domo said, “I felt like I was the king of the world jamming out on my air guitar. Probably because I was high off of various hard-core drugs.”

“Yeeaaah!!!! Like the fucking man,” Tyler immediately added.

Not everyone will agree when I say that the mullet is the greatest thing to happen to America ever in history. Those people deserve a roundhouse kick to the kneecaps. I do not see how anyone could possibly hate that hairstyle. Well, unless someone with a mullet assaulted you and stole your girlfriend or got you pregnant, and even then I'm sure deep down you still love it.

If you are finding it weird that I like mullets, then you clearly have never experienced the true awesomeness of a mullet. I feel that every person should grow a mullet at least once in their life. Even if it is for one day, I doubt you'll regret it. People will look at you stupid because it is 2011, but whatever, they don't know shit.

Domo; Credit: Photo by L-Boy

Domo; Credit: Photo by L-Boy

On a side note that has nothing to do with mullets, Domo Genesis dropped his Undertheinfluence mixtape recently, and I make an all-star appearance with my own track on there. Let's see if everyone is able to tell which song is mine; if you can, yes, that is me playing the saxophone in the background, too. –L-Boy