Provocateur Harmony Korine has again reached deep inside his bag of WTF for his latest feature, Spring Breakers. Set for release in 2013, the movie's casting has generated quite a buzz already: It features Disney star Selena Gomez being bad, James Franco in cornrows and Georgia rapper Gucci Mane shouting his name a lot (presumably).
But things got even weirder when it was announced that Grammy-winning Corey Feldman-lookalike Skrillex has signed on for the score. West Coast Sound has learned exclusively that the deal was finalized after an intense meeting between Skrillex, Korine, Franco and Gucci over lunch on a private island near the Amalfi coast of Italy. Thanks to a secret microphone hidden in the jack-o'-lantern chain around the neck of rapper Riff Raff (who was hiding in the bushes), we've obtained the full transcript from the conversation.
Harmony Korine: This is unbelievable puttanesca, Skrillex. You made this yourself?
Skrillex: I did. I love to cook.
James Franco: It's really spicy. Love it. You know the translation for “puttanesca” is “whore's style spaghetti.” I learned that in an immersion Italian course at Columbia. [Laughs] I only picked up a bit, though, because I had, like, nine jobs that semester.
Gucci Mane: GUCCI!
Skrillex: Interesting. Anyway, thanks for agreeing to meet up, guys. I wanted to talk to you all about your characters, so I can live in them, really get a sense of them. James, tell me about yours.
Franco: Sure. He's a white rapper named Alien with a gun fetish who was inspired by Riff Raff. [Giggles] Wait, what was that? Did somebody just yell “Swag”?
Skrillex: I didn't hear anything. Anyway, Gucci, tell me about your character.
Korine: Gucci is a black rapper who was, in real life, inspired by aliens. I love the symmetry of his character with James' character. I like the balance. Art. I am an artist. Does anyone have any Brillo Pads?
Korine: I just told Gucci to be Gucci. Most of what he says is incomprehensible, but that's what drew me to him. His language is his art, sort of like mine.
Skrillex: So tell me about Spring Breakers. It's a bunch of scantily-clad girls with Disney pedigrees hot-boxing blow and snorting marijuana and shooting guns and doing sexy things with their sexy parts? What's the plot?
Korine: Like all of my movies, there is no plot. Basically I took Gummo out of Ohio, plopped it in Florida and replaced the inbreeds with hot girls.
Franco: Nice. [Giggles]
Korine: Yeah. It's the whore's style spaghetti of movies, if that makes sense.
Skrillex: It does not.
Franco: Um, I hate to be that guy, but are we going to be done here soon? I'm working a shift at the Enterprise Rental Car up the street in about half an hour.
Skrillex: Yeah, James. I think I've got everything I need.
Mane: BRICK SQUAD!
Skrillex: One last thing, though. Are you guys actually enjoying the pasta I made? I can't work with people who aren't honest with me. I demand honesty.
Korine: That's why I asked you to be a part of this project. Art is honesty. Honesty is art. I'm an artist. And yes, I'm enjoying it, because it's literally the first thing I've eaten in 14 days.
Franco: It's really great, man. For serious. I was a sous chef for three weeks at Mario Batali's Babbo. This is as good as anything we cooked there. [Giggles]
Korine: I honestly feel like I cannot eat this fast enough.
Mane: I'm stealthy, healthy, wealthy, ya try me? I probably show a nigga how to drive a jet ski.*
Skrillex: I'm not sure what that means.
Korine: No one knows what it means. No one knows what anything Gucci says means. He's got a song called “Food Plug” where he just says “I got a food plug, plug, plug, plug” over and over. No clue what that is. There's not even an entry for “food plug” on Urban Dictionary. The guy makes no sense. He is my muse.
Korine: You know, this may just be the withdrawl talking, but I think we should add another Alien. I mean, like a doppleganger for your character James. Someone who looks EXACTLY like your character. If only we could FIND someone like that.
Riff Raff: (Emerging from the bushes) Swag.
Korine: Is that you, Riff Raff, coming from the darkness into the light? It couldn't be — you've come to save this film, to save us all.
Riff Raff: Swag.
Korine: So then I assume you heard our conversation and have come to play the part of Alien's doppleganger?
Riff Raff: Huh? Nah. I stopped listening. I just got hungry. Yo, where that whore spaghetti at?
Here the audio becomes murky as a scuffle ensues, culminating in what sounds something like a wheezing Korine attempting to stab Riff Raff with a head of cauliflower. Finally, the sound of flatulence and then the mic cuts out entirely. According to European news reports, Korine is now on the run from the Italian police, while Skrillex is in the process of recording a tribute song to the late white rapper, called “Scary Diamond Pendants and Delicious Sprite.”
*This is an actual Gucci Mane lyric, from the song “What I Do.”