[Update: Upon hearing the news, a good friend of ours asked if straight male bachelor parties are banned, as well. Great question! Brian Rosman, a publicist for The Abbey, says that although that “has never once happened,” it would “probably fall under the same ban.” Yes, he decides — “any celebration of straight marriage” is banned from The Abbey. Glad we got that figured out.]

MTV has declared it “The Best Gay Bar in the World.” Cranky neighbors (and the West Hollywood Sheriff's station) have declared it a royal pain in the arse.

Now, eternally max-capped WeHo gay bar The Abbey is making a statement of its own: Until marriage is an option for everyone everywhere, ignorant straight chicks in penis hats are exiled from the building.

This will be the first all-out ban on bachelorette parties in the Los Angeles area. But WeHo patriots might be surprised to learn that in Chicago's premiere gayborhood, bachelorette parties have been blacklisted for a few years now. Always one step ahead of us, that Boystown!

However, The Abbey is the clear winner for finest bachelorette-party-ban press release.

“Every Friday and Saturday night, we're flooded with requests from straight girls in penis hats who want to ogle our go-gos, dance with the gays and celebrate their pending nuptials. They are completely unaware that the people around them are legally prohibited from getting married,” said David Cooley, Founder of The Abbey. “Over the past 22 years, The Abbey has been a place that accepts everyone, gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, bisexual and everything in between. We love our straight girlfriends and they are welcome here, just not for bachelorette parties.”

It has long been a policy at The Abbey to deny admission to groups in costume, including Bachelorette regalia. Bachelorette parties had previously been allowed inside if they removed their costumes. The Abbey's 'bachelorette ban' comes on the heels of a ban on gay marriage in North Carolina and a number of other states across the South. The Abbey encourages other gay-owned and operated establishments to institute their own bans as a sign of solidarity until marriage is legal everywhere for everyone.

The Abbey.; Credit: Patrick Range McDonald

The Abbey.; Credit: Patrick Range McDonald

(Easy for The Abbey to say — that place gets so much business that turning away 10 bottomless drink pits in penis hats would only be a relief.)

Meanwhile, on the somewhat more hard-hitting end of the gay-rights movement, President Obama's gay-marriage endorsement has set into motion a shift of opinion within the black community: The majority of blacks now support marriage equality.

Sooo if a historically conservative minority can come around, it does seem the whining white chicks of West Hollywood might also keep their barfy Chip 'N' Dales circlejerks off the dance floors of the disenfranchised.

What do you think, girls? Offended that you can't flaunt your head penis and bridal sash in whomever's face you please anymore?

[@simone_electra / swilson@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]

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