Kids, do your chain-smoking parents get all liquored up after work, chase you into your bedroom and pistol-whip you half to death?! Well, now you can test your folks for alcohol, tobacco and firearm abuse before they get violent, giving you the precious seconds you need to escape to Hollywood, where you'll enjoy a carefree, lucrative (and brief) life of prostitution!

Parents Home Drug Testing Drugwipe Drug Tests ( lets concerned parents easily, effectively and legally violate the Fourth Amendment as it relates to pot, coke, junk and speed! Easy to use! Just $16.95! Order yours today for a better world tomorrow!

Make him turn that baseball cap around and wear it right with the PDT-90(tm) Personal Drug Testing Service ( Available at Sav-On and other popular drug stores, if this doesn't get your troublesome teen to turn over his stash and start hitting the booze like Mom and Dad, nothing will. Order yours et cetera!

Abby's (cobb) Web Page ( “I hope that you are having a wonderful day. I'll be praying that the Lord keeps you safe and that you never have any unnecessary heart ache.”

LA Weekly