So last week at the Out of the Closet on Fairfax, I blew a whole dollar on The Official Guide to the Best Cat Houses in Nevada, the subject of today's Studies in Crap column over on our Style Council blog.

That expenditure — maybe one three-hundredth of the cost of a roll in the hay at one of the book's subjects — has not disappointed, as quotes like this should demonstrate:

“It's like a boarding school for girls, only it's not books they're going to be studying. These women work. They sell pleasure and that's all they have to do. They don't have to cook or do the laundry and they don't have to take out the garbage. They only need to satisfy 200,000 men a year sexually.”

Has ever an “only” been more out of place?

Look for many more — and much dirtier — quotes and scans over on our Style Council blog, including a bizarre glossary, a barrage of new terms for the sex organs, and dinner chatter like this:

“Two of them were debating the pros and cons of 'giving head.' Keisha though it would cause hanging jowls, while Coco was under the impression it would strengthen neck muscles and give one's face a better tonal quality. All of this took place at the dinner table. Pass the potatoes please!”

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.