FRIDAY, October 24

Who once wrote, “It was all luck, and it all started with that radio piece. If it wasn’t for that, I’d probably still be cleaning apartments as a maid in New York”? If you said David Sedaris, you already have your outfit of blue Brooks Brothers shirt and khaki pants, along with a cigarette behind your ear. The man is the literary equivalent of the Rolling Stones; no matter how much new material he continues to produce, people still want to hear his greatest hits, like “Santaland Diaries.” P.S.: Anybody know of any housecleaning jobs in NYC? Terrace Theater, Long Beach Convention Center, 300 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach; Fri., Oct. 24, 8 p.m.; $25 & $45. (213) 480-3232.

SATURDAY, October 25

The world is ending; the shit storm has hit us. Let’s party! A cool way to get ready for Halloween comes courtesy of Fake Radio, those wacky cats who love old-timey radio re-creations. They’ve enlisted John Larroquette for a performance of the original 1938 Mercury Radio Theatre’s War of the Worlds radio show. And dig this: They’re doing the historical radio drama on the soundstage where I Love Lucy was filmed. Bonus: suitable for scaring your kid! (Ages 8 and up.) Hollywood Center Studios, 1040 N. Las Palmas Ave., Hollywood; Sat., Oct. 25, 8 p.m.; doors open at 7 p.m. for cocktails; $20, $45 “patron” level, whatever the heck that means. (877) 460-9774 or

SUNDAY, October 26

It’s getting close to Halloween, which means an avalanche of candy, which brings up the subject of diabetes, which leads us to Stand Up for a Cure, an evening of standup comedy to benefit the Diabetes Research Institute. Did you see how we did that? We in the blurb biz call that the “old press catch-and-release.” You can learn all about it on my new how-to CD, Blurb Your Way to Fame and Awards, available at car washes citywide. Oops, forgot to mention, this fine event features Drew Carey and the Improv All-Stars. Millennium Biltmore Hotel, 506 S. Grand Ave., dwntwn.; Sun., Oct. 26, 5 p.m.; $200, includes dinner. (323) 857-0080.

To say that Michael Ochs is a collector of rock-related photos is like saying Hitler hated Jews. Mr. Ochs is the pre-eminent collector of rare images, which the Getty allegedly paid him handsomely for. He’ll share rock & roll anecdotes from his latest book, Illusions of Grandeur, which, sorry to say, will make your story of the time you bought a beer for Lee Ving look pretty lame. McCabe’s Guitar Shop, 3101 Pico Blvd., Santa Monica; Sun., Oct. 26, 7 p.m.; $12.50. (310) 828-4497.

MONDAY, October 27

You’ve seen The Dark Knight — but have you seen it in the same room as members of the Motion Picture Sound Editors as they present The MPSE Sound Show? Sound designer Richard King and music editor Alex Gibson will talk tricks of the trade. The sound better be fucking great! Egyptian Theatre, 6712 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Mon., Oct. 27, 8 p.m.; $10. (323) 466-FILM.

TUESDAY, October 28

Talk about a heartbreaking story of staggering genius. Mark Oliver Everett, a.k.a. E of the Eels, tells the story of a childhood filled with tragedy and loss: the death of his father, sister and mother, and how it all affected him as a musician and songwriter. Everett will read from his memoir, Things the Grandchildren Should Know. Book Soup, 8818 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood; Tues., Oct. 28, 7 p.m.; free, book is $23.95. (310) 659-3110.

WEDNESDAY, October 29

Hey, boys and ghouls, check out Eban Schletter’s Witching Hour. It’s an album — and now a stage production — that’s deliciously creepy fun and perfect for this season of warm, whistling winds and alliterative apprehensions. Such guests as Dave Foley, Tom Kenny (the voice of SpongeBob SquarePants), Jill Sobule, Grant Lee Phillips, Paul F. Tompkins, Crissy Guerrero, Scott Aukerman, Laura Milligan, Tracy DeNisi and many others will perform what composer Schletter describes as “an art record in a children’s Halloween costume.” I am dying to call it “corn on macabre” but will resist as long as I possibly can. Oops! Phillips gets Brechtian on “Forever Lurking,” you’ll sob with fear at Sobule singing “The Legend of Lagunaloch Lake,” and you can finally find a reason not to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas for the 80 billionth time. Steve Allen Theater, at the Center For Inquiry–West, 4773 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; Wed.-Thurs., Oct. 29-30, 8 p.m.; $10. (323) 666-4268.

THURSDAY, October 30

“We eat the night, we drink the time/Make our dreams come true/And hungry eyes are passing by/On streets we call the zoo.” Words to guide you in times of existential questioning? Fuck yeah — we’ve all been there. Thank you, Scorpions! And good night! But songwriter-producer Mike Daly has really been there. So much so that he compiled a book's worth of heavy-metal lyrics that stand as philosophical credos, titled Time Flies When You're in a Coma. Why didn't I think of that? Daly appears at Book Soup, 8818 Sunset Blvd., W. Hlywd.; Thurs., Oct. 30, 7 p.m.; free, book is $13. (310) 659-3110.

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