For the print headline for this week's stage feature on the new Saved by the Bell musical in Burbank, written by our theater critic Steven Leigh Morris, the challenge was: how do you combine references to musical theater and Saved by the Bell in an amusing way while also making sure the maximum number of lay readers who pick up the paper at a coffee shop — who might have only a cursory knowledge of each subject — will know what the hell we're talking about.
Here are our seven rejected headline ideas…
7. Bayside Story
Close. Not quite enough of a twist. A little too easy.
6. Attend the Tale of A.C. Slater
Fun if you know musicals, but not sure that non-musical fans would realize that “attend the tale” construction comes from Sweeney Todd. Plus, we don't want to be mistaken for commanding people to attend. See the review.
5. A Morris Line
“Zack” is definitely needed for you to know it's Saved by the Bell. But “A Zack Morris Line” is clunky. Next.
4. Have an Egg Roll, Mr. Belding
A reference to an obscure song from Gypsy. Way too theater nerdy. This one's a lie — we didn't really consider this one.
3. Can't Help Lovin' Dat Max
It's a song from Show Boat and the Max is the place where…forget it.
2. How to Succeed on Television Without Really Trying
We're kidding! Sort of.
1. Kapowski! I've Just Met a Girl Named Kapowski!
Truthfully, this one almost made it. Lay readers will probably know what song it's referencing, and it's catchy even if you don't recognize the name of Tiffani Thiessen's character.
We finally went with our first instinct, Don't Cry for Me, Bayside High School.
But can you do better? Add your ideas in the comments below.