Linda LesemanHollywood abounds with hot male musicians and moviemakers — but none so uniquely sexy as industrial-metal shock-rocker and film director Rob Zombie. Today, he's releasing a collection of remixes called Mondo Sex Head, which got me to thinking.
Why go for the Zombie, you might ask, with so many conventionally good-looking stars to lust for? Simple: Rob Zombie is sexual transgression personified.
Here's the thing. I could care less about model-esque faces, gooey love songs, and whatever else out there is supposed to manipulate my hormones. But tell me you turn into a prurient werewolf at night, and you've got my attention. Here are five more things that make Zombie an unlikely sex symbol.
5. He's smart.
So what if some folks thought his Halloween remake wasn't as good as the original; it still did great box office. And how many rock stars have the gumption and know-how to redo a classic horror flick? Besides racking up a respectable directorial resume, Zombie has written screenplays, penned a comic book, and been nominated for three Grammys. Fuck eating brains; his own is highly functional.
4. He does laundry — gently.
The above Zombie-directed Woolite commercial reveals a sensitivity to detail–specifically, the concern for treating delicate clothing with care. Ask any woman: a man who excels at household chores is invariably sexy. And a man who can wash your bras without causing collateral damage is a man you can take home to your mom.
3. He's got moves.
Check out “Return of the Phantom Stranger” (above) for prime viewing of Zombie's signature dredbanging. He thrashes through live shows, too, like in this performance of “Demanoid Phenomenon” when he lifts and twirls the guitarist around in a demented pas de deux. (Women in the audience proceed to flash their breasts.) The point is, the man's got athleticism…and stamina.
2. He'll talk dirty.
Actually, Rob Zombie's lyrics go beyond dirty. Some of them are full-on wrong. Take, for instance, the chorus of “Living Dead Girl”: “Crawl on me, sink into me, die for me, living dead girl. Blood on her skin, dripping with sin, do it again, living dead girl.” Necrophilia, anyone?
1. His fantasies are freaky.
With Rob Zombie, you're unlikely to get bored in the bedroom. Consider the stuff he thinks about: “Vampire lovers in warm bikinis” getting it on, “Cannibal man and a jungle girl say uh huh uh huh huh uh huh huh uh huh huh.” It's no wonder he and wife Sheri Moon Zombie seem happily married. When the things you do in public together look like this, Lord knows what goes on behind the scenes.
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