Our favorite Barbadian bombshell (as in “help my weave exploded”) Rihanna graced us with her music video for super-hit “S&M” today. If you haven't heard it yet, you must not take spin classes, be a fag hag, or hang out with high schoolers much.

So what the hell are you doing with your life??

Anywho, what struck me about the video is not her ass, or her horrible Muppet mop…or even the fact that I couldn't believe David LaChapelle DIDN'T direct the bubbly acid trip of a mini music movie.

(It was Melina Matsoukas. She directed Rihanna's “Hard” video, too.)

Matsoukas, the styling team and maybe even Rihanna herself had a lot of fun picking out the tools of the trade and definitely knew where to look.

At The Stockroom, for example, which is L.A.'s only couture fetish designer who's been making custom dresses, cinchers, hoods and accessory gear by hand out of leather – Stormy Leather – and latex – Syren Latex – for more than two decades.)

And someone on set knew what they were doing when they tied Rihanna up in her yellow polka-dot romper, pigtails and shoes to die for.

Latex leash. Ball gags. Braided whip. (A pink one.) Rubber gauntlets. (Yellow ones.) Let's go shopping.

And the pink rope? Those are professional bondage knots, people. And when she “dances” and writhes in the pink rope and latex it makes me want to dance. By myself. Horizontally.

Wanna join me? Watch it HERE.

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