Donald Trump is not the owner, so any nudie pics you might've taken won't hurt your chances of winning Venice Beach's annual Mr. and Ms. Muscle Beach contest. The famous boardwalk, which gave us our current governor, is celebrating its 75th anniversary (the original Muscle Beach located in Santa Monica). This year, hard bodies from all over in teeny-weeny swimsuits gather to flex their pecks and compete in the bodybuilding, figure and bikini divisions. Their tanned-to-a-crisp skin glistening off their bulging muscles will make you look like the puny patriot you are. But have another bratwurst, girly man. Vendors, booths and giveaways are included.

Sat., July 4, 1 p.m., 2009

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