Just when you think the Red Bull craze has begun its downslope — thanks to all the wacky-flavored competitors (Snoop's comes with unicorns!), Red Bull's own overkill marketing and its reputation as an un-Islamic heartstopper — some L.A. County looters have to go and make it street again.
According to the Pasadena Sun, it's all the rage among Southland thieves these days.
(Conspiracy theory: Could the Red Bull thefts be correlated with neighboring Ventura County's rise in rabid bats? Wings! Teeth! Death, on speed!)
But for real. One such suspect youth was just nabbed in South Pasadena: Eric Petrossian, 21, was booked Thursday on suspicion of carrying out two separate Red Bull heists, the Sun reports.
The arrest came after a Glendale police officer viewed security camera footage of Petrossian at two supermarkets and said he believed Petrossian was connected to a previous incident, according to Det. Richard Lee of the South Pasadena Police Dept.
More concerningly, Lee told the paper: “These Red Bull thefts are surprisingly becoming a huge thing, not just in the San Gabriel Valley, but you're talking about in the Westside as well. For some strange reason, they're just in demand.”
So, because we know small-time robbers aren't above hawking their bounty on the Net, we went where any cubicle-bound investigative journalist would go in times like these: Craigslist.
Between August 9 and August 12, seven different listings titled something along the lines of “2 cases red bull 48 cans total” were posted in the “for sale” section. Pickup locations are in Cerritos, Artesia and Long Beach. They each mention being canned in July, being sealed in the plastic and retail for $36 to $42, “depending on where you shop.”
When we emailed the Artesia seller, he told us he could meet us with the goods at Cerritos Mall. Sketch! And when we said we were actually just journalists, not so much interested in the Red Bull, he said:
“I have 2 cases that I bought at costco… paid 36$ for them, each. I quit drinking them because I have been getting headaches. Thanks for your interest, have a good day.”
Right. But even if “John Doe” is just the Costco-happy innocent he says he is, we want your hypothesis: Why the spike in Red Bull thefts? And does this reinstate the Bull's street cred, a la rogue Four Loko sales?