Today's Tuesday. What will we be doing tonight? Hmm, probably laundry. But in the land of Beverly Hills Housewives, Tuesday is the perfect day for your filthy rich friend and his child bride to throw your daughter an engagement party complete with snake charmers, a live camel and a cracked-out mermaid. Here we go:
Lisa Vanderpump's daughter Pandora is tying the knot, so all the over-the-hill glitterati turned out at pal Mohamed's house to celebrate. (We didn't see one guest there who looked Pandora's age, save for Kyle's daughter Farrah.) The Arabian nights party theme proved pretty easy for Mohamed to pull off, considering he already had a hookah room and Turkish bath in his house. Add a camel and some belly dancers and presto!
Out of place, perhaps, was the lady in a mermaid costume (above) flapping around alone by the pool, yelling, “I'm a mermaid! I'm a mermaid!” It was as if the others in the belly-dancing troupe were used to her occasional psychotic breaks and packed the mermaid costume just in case they needed to put her off in a corner somewhere/restrain her. Mermaid broke lose though, because we're pretty sure we saw her sliding down the banister at some point later. Kim may have found her new best friend.
Kim has also found a MAN. Let's talk about this guy. Oh Jeebus. So it turns out Kim, who may or may not have a meth addiction, has been dating some dude named Ken for the last year. The last year? And this has never come up? She says they met when she walked out to her mailbox one day and he was standing there, waiting. Interesting, considering Kim made her TV debut roughly a year ago. Stalker much?
Now, why would Kim keep this guy a secret, especially from sister Kyle who, a year ago, was her bff? We can't imagine it's because he could possibly be her drug dealer. We're not saying that he is. But if Kim is trying to convince people she's living a sober lifestyle, dating someone who looks like Dave Attell after a bad bender, and keeping the relationship under wraps, may not be the best way to go.
And speaking of keeping things secret, on last night's ep, Taylor and Russell Armstrong found themselves distraught that news of their troubled marriage hit the tabloids. Yes, Russell, who committed suicide after the filming of this season, made his first official appearance on RHOBH. Was it weird? Totally. But we reiterate that while Bravo stated they'd edit this season with sensitivity to the situation, they never promised they'd edit Russell out completely. From what we can tell, neither the media nor the family has completely freaked out about his cameo (yet), which indicates Bravo just may have played this extremely difficult hand perfectly.
Anyhow, over dinner with Kyle and Mauricio, Russell and Taylor brought up that Us Weekly had printed a story about the couple's separation. Immediately, Russell pointed the finger at Lisa, insinuating she'd leaked information to her personal friend, the magazine's editor. Russell simply said he'd hit them with a lawsuit. BAM. No asking Lisa outright. No benefit of the doubt.
But it looks like that's the least of it when it comes to Russell looking like a jerk. Previews tell us that at some point, the Housewives confront Taylor about the domestic abuse that, up until her husband's suicide, she'd never talked about on camera. The line of taste is about to get a lot finer for Bravo. Stay tuned.
Final thought: How the f does Adrienne's husband Paul have Mark Wahlberg's phone number?