Don't you just love when double standards are disproved? Case in point: that persistent belief that when men speak their minds, they're “assertive,” but when women do it, they're “bitchy.”

Well, last night, Kyle Richard's husband, the ever-dreamy Mauricio Umansky, decided to speak up on the subject of sister-in-law Kim Richard's selfish, erratic and downright troubling behavior, and it was pretty much the bitchiest catfight we've seen all season.

The episode highlighted part two of the Housewives' trip to Hawaii to celebrate Mauricio's birthday. Kim was invited and was set to bring beau (not of the literal translation) Ken, but the pair ended up missing the flight to Honolulu. Not only that, they missed the flight the following morning to Lanai, and ended up a whopping 36 hours late to the party.

Initially, Kim had claimed through slurred speech that her driver's license was expired, and that she couldn't find her passport in time to make the flight. By the time she and Ken made it to the resort, took a snooze and a quick whore's bath, and mosied over to dinner, the story had changed. “Ken had to work!” Kim claimed.

Kim and Ken, just happy to be in Hawaii.; Credit:

Kim and Ken, just happy to be in Hawaii.; Credit:

Ok Kim, here's the thing. Even if we ignore the fact that Ken is retired, and that generally one should plan to be available on the day they have a flight booked to a tropical island, this excuse may have worked, had you not already previously stated the reason for your lateness was that you couldn't find any valid form of ID. That Kim thought anyone would believe this sudden change of tune was glaring evidence that she and Ken were completely out of touch with reality, which ended in Kyle and Mauricio finding themselves beyond sympathy and decidedly pissed.

Unable to contain his anger, Mauricio went into total bitch mode, calling out Kim and Ken for lying. K-Squared dodged the accusations simply saying they were glad to finally be there, but Mauricio wouldn't let it lie. In a glorious move of passive-aggression, he made a birthday toast to “living true,” making everyone toast to the “truth.” Subtle, Maurice, subtle.

The next morning proved no less tension-filled, as the gang waited on a bus for Kim and Ken to get on before they could all head off to a day of catamaran-ing. After a half hour of sitting, Kyle and Lisa banged on every door they could find to K-Squared's room and eventually got their attention. The duo claimed their “alarm didn't go off.” Once again, Kim, gotta work on those believable excuses. You really need an alarm to wake you up when it's 2:30 in the afternoon in L.A.? Only someone devastatingly hungov…actually we're gonna stop there.

The rest of the crew said 'eff it' and headed to the boat, leaving Kim and Ken to scramble behind, only to literally miss it. The two headed back to the hotel, not to hit the beach or swim in the pool, but to hole up in their room. Curious.

Dinnertime came again, and just as they had the night before, Kyle and Mauricio berated K-Squared for their inconsiderate behavior, to the point that the pair got up and left. Mauricio, alive with anger, rocked some Ramona Singer-like crazy eyes and Kyle cried, but the rest of the crew assured them they weren't at fault. Brandi called Ken an enabler. There, she said it! We've been too nervous to.

Taylor Armstrong, obviously concealing something.; Credit:

Taylor Armstrong, obviously concealing something.; Credit:

Meanwhile, back in L.A., Dana had lunch with Taylor, who was rocking some mysterious heavy bangs over her right eye. We're pretty sure they were meant to cover up the scars from the surgery Taylor necessitated after Russell punched her so hard he put her in the hospital — the straw that lead Taylor to finally leave him for good. As the season winds down, it will be interesting to see what kind of package Bravo wraps this difficult storyline in. Until next week.

Follow Ali Trachta on Facebook and Twitter @MySo_CalLife, and for more arts news follow @LAWeeklyArts.

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