See also: *Our Real Housewives archives

1. Taylor Armstrong (Last week: 3)

Taylor gave a motivational speech last night to Brandi Glanville and Camille Grammer reminding them that as single women they must be strong, stronger than any man, because dammit they have less support than everyone else and if they don't band together to keep smilin' and shinin' they'll end up living in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!

2. Lisa Vanderpump (Last week: 2)

Lisa displayed a rarely seen trait among Housewives: loyalty. She's sticking by Brandi despite Brandi's unpopularity for revealing Adrienne Maloof's alleged use of a surrogate. Even Brandi's not siding with Brandi, so that's saying something.

The truth is in Kim's eyes; Credit:

The truth is in Kim's eyes; Credit:

3. Kim Richards (Last week: Tied for 4)

Here was the remarkable thing about Kim this week: she managed to tackle some seriously touchy subjects with a couple of the other Housewives while maintaining complete composure and poise. While Brandi was busy squealing “Go fuck yourself!” in the middle of dinner, Kim, conversely, was engaged in a quiet, controlled conversation with sister Kyle about the state of their strained relationship. So quiet, in fact, no one else around seemed to notice their tears. And while the rest of the group bantered back and forth about whether or not Brandi or Adrienne should “pick up the phone” (cripes, how many times did they say that?), Kim, in a low voice, encouraged Brandi to seek a lesson in all this: that one should watch her words more carefully. Kim was like a wise sage. It was weird. But good.

4. Adrienne Maloof (Last week: Tied for 4)

She didn't even show up this week, but she was all anyone could talk about. Very carefully, though, so as not to get sued.

5. Kyle Richards (Last week: Tied for 4)

Kyle, what has happened to you this year? You used to be Queen Bee! Now we barely have anything to say about you. Fight with someone, please. You're so good at it.

Yolanda picking lemons, and probably judging people; Credit:

Yolanda picking lemons, and probably judging people; Credit:

6. Yolanda Foster (Last week: 7)

All she does on this show is pick lemons and judge people.

7. Brandi Glanville (Last week: 1)

This is the second week in a row Brandi's been ganged up on by an entire dinner party. Come on, guys. A girl's gotta eat.

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