You might think that an item as whimsical as the novelty penis straw-topper couldn't possibly inspire outrage, but you would be incorrect. A preschool teacher shopping for “Dora the Explorer” balloons for her daughter's Confirmation party reportedly became upset when she spied “dancing penis” bachelorette novelties across the Quincy, Mass., store from the religious-life-milestone party favors she sought, according to The Patriot Ledger. IParty, the New England-based chain of party supply stores this woman is complaining about, defended its placement of bachelorette party novelty items in its stores, saying that the aisles displaying such fun-inducing items as crepe-paper cock table centerpieces, wind-up dancing penises and “Pin the Junk on the Hunk” party games are clearly marked “Adults Only, Please.”

But the hapless bachelorette party shopper might have an even more difficult time finding all the penis-themed party accessories on her list if the Quincy city clerk has his way. Although a city employee who visited the store to check out the penises concluded that no ordinances had been violated, City Clerk Joe Shea told the Patriot Ledger that he'd like the adult items moved into a separate room, so customers – after showing they're over 18 years old – would have to request a perusal of IParty's racier merchandise.

WCVB Channel 5 Boston posted the story on its Facebook page, which generated entertaining comments both supporting the woman and deriding her:

“I worked there for four years,” one woman said. “They really are discreet about it, and

those items are huge sellers. I know the stores I worked at were very good about

watching who went down those aisles, and the shelves are blocked and marked 'adult only.'”

And: “Well, I was in Iparty recently to buy some dancing penises, and I was offended by

all of the religious items in the Confirmation/First Communion aisle.”

Last, but not least: “Out of place and disgusting and I'm no prude [sic].”

I wanted to see these novelty dancing penises for myself so I skipped on over to, but my visit proved penisless. The site only invited me to join its Birthday

Club, check out its Red Sox fan section and peruse Halloween costumes hella early. So I

can't say how big and offensive the dancing penises in Quincy's IParty might have been,

but regardless, the store didn't break any laws so the issue will likely be forgotten in a

week or two. Except that lady will probably shop elsewhere. Or maybe just until her next


Speaking of that lady and her balloons: I made my Confirmation in 10th grade, so if Mom

was shopping for “Dora the Explorer” balloons for a 15 year old's party, either the paper

reported some inaccuracies, or there's some mad infantilizing up in that household.

Follow @Virginia Pelley and @AfterDarkLA on Twitter.

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