You know what would be awful great? A show that's like a cross between Top Chef and the Millionaire Matchmaker! Well, fret not, such a thing is about to exist. Barf Yay!

Okay, to be fair, this new show, called Chef Wants a Wife (great name, guys!), is not at all like Top Chef and is JUST like Millionaire Matchmaker, except instead of millionaires a “professional matchmaker” will be pimping finding love for chefs. How awesome! Because everyone knows what great husbands chefs make. Even the press release I got about this thing said “over 70% of professional chefs are single and the married ones are far more likely to get divorced than the average couple.” Why is this? Probably because the average chef doesn't have a string of bimbos women picked out for him on television. Now THAT's a recipe for love! (See what I did there? RECIPE for love? You can totally have that, Chef Wants a Wife. You're welcome.)

(Also, I'm kidding because I'm totally married to a chef and he's great! Hi honey!)

Alrighty, then. If you're a chef looking for fame and televised awkwardness and probably sex love, you can email

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